Help, my crush of 2-3 yrs is making me jealous...

[Mokajoe]

My next door neighbor and crush and best friend is "dating"this other girl. He likes me and I love him but we are 2 yrs apart. I cant date yet. Not until high school (23 days till 9th grade). We Are focusing on grades. We are both a/b students. Should I make a move in the summer or in the late future? Help!

[sera300]

9th grade? Watch your grades & worry about men later! Especially since he is your neighbor!

[xkatex]

He's your neighbour hes not going anywhere. And two years apart? So he's grade 10 then? Wait a couple years. Its doubtful a grade 11 will want to be seen with a grade 9 anyways, but not impossible. Worry bout grades and school until your a bit older.

[Brandye]

Good grades have only an up side - things are better inlife. Premature sex has a greater down side than up side - the risks are not worth it.

Read some romantic novels; look at old Hollywood musicals with lots of guys in tuxedoes and a glanourous female lead. Learn a bit about self-pleasuring and the rest will come later without being forced.

[Mr. Saint]

I would say to wait until you are at least in high school. It is not that uncommon for a junior to date a freshman. I would probably advise that you wait until you are a sophomore and he is a senior. I am sixteen, I use to not date people that were much younger then me, but I recently meet some one that is a year and a half younger then me and I have fallen for them, so anything can happen. We are the same year, college freshman. I have also dated women that are 2 years older then me. So I would be a hierocrat to say not to date him at all.

On the other hand I would I very strongly advise you to hold of sex until you are quit a bit older (about 16, depending on maturity?). If you fell that he is going to pressure you to have sex to early then I would say not to date him at all. Hope that helps

[NeutralCounselor]

ya i agree with everyone else around here. Being a senior in hs i at times reget spending more time with gf's and less time on grades. Schooling should always be put above relationships. As for making a move, make one whenever you feel ur ready too, not when u think its convientent. If ur ready for a relationship then go for it, but (especilly as such a young age) keep it slow, increase the emotional part of the relationship. Otherwise stay friends and just wait till you're both ready for a real relationship both physically and emotionally.

[NeutralCounselor]

BTW: my gf is a soph and im a senior and we started dating last year. We had to make alot of sacrifies due to eachother not being able to see eachother at times for weeks due to commitments that were more important. She's class valadictorian and im far from it, and i make her put school and her work over me. Just make sure u put school and family over relationship cause your family will never leave you and will always love you. To me it goes school>family>work>relationships>everything else.
hope this has helped

[sera300]

Originally Posted by NeutralCounselor

To me it goes school>family>work>relationships>everything else.
hope this has helped

Good thought, remember though family can be set aside for a bit; however, if they are a good influence, might be first! Why? They will never compromise your education.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Moka - your jealousy proves you are too young to be considering making any moves at all. Feeling possessive is the mark of a child and jealousy indicates fear. Both of these are BAD and if not curbed now, they will KILL any chance you wil ever have of developing a mature and loving relationship woth a good and worthy man.

But you are thinking of sex, so the hormones are rising, therefore it is time for your education - book form - to begin.

Suggested reading:
1. medical texts on the subjects of sex, sexuality, reproduction, the psychology and metaphysics of sex.

2. if you have to read romance novels, read good ones that show how to interact with men with dignity and courage such as those by Georgette Heyer, yes I know they are old but you will learn how good and worthy men behave as opposed to how louts and cads behave.

3. feminist literature such as Our Bodies Our Selves and even more advant garde The Ethical Slut which should open your mind a bit further

If you have not yet begun to investigate your own body and masturbate, now is the time to do so. Now is also the time to learn to keep your mouth shut about your sex life. Do not be gushing to your friends on the phone or elsewhere.

And the hardest thing of all is something you might want to do as well. Talk to your mother/grandmother/aunt. An older female relative who is sensible about sex is just the mentor a younger girl needs for guidance. Remember that she is responsible for you and if she's a good parent, she's willing to help guide through these next years of your life.

If not - then you can always come and talk to me. I have had daughters and granddaughters of my own and there's nothing I do not understand about sex and very little I do not know about men.