Making a long distance relationship work

[Confusedone]

Hey Everyone,

i looked around and i didn't exactly see a post about how to make a long distance relationship work...so i am starting one i hope no one minds.

heres the deal, me and my very good friend had an interesting conversation the other night...that ended in us realizing we were beating around the bush to the fact we liked each other and wanna try and make a long distance relationship.

Considering we met two years ago on a trip and have only seen each other once in person since then it seems kinda stupid, but we talk for hours with no end on the phone or in person (yes when we saw each other again it was as though we always hung out).

the only problem is the fact we live in different states. We wanna make it work and i am curious if theres any tips...and believe me when i say the two of us trust each other and know a **** load about each other...theres no topic that we wont bring up and no filter in our conversations.

[Ducy]

Is there ANY chance of you guys seeing each other in the future? I mean more than once in a while, like actually being able to spend time together like a short distance relationship?

[sera300]

How do you make a relationship work through talking on the phone? You only learn of a person through spending time with them & seeing if you are compatible in the day-to-day parts of life.

[bartona]

Why not give MSN Messenger or Yahoo Messenger a go. You can chat and it doesn't cost you a fortune and if you want can use a webcam. Believe me it works, or it does for me

[dancingdoc2]

You are describing a 'pal relationship such as in pen pal or as in your case, a telephone pal. Best me thinks at this time to just be friends and communicate over the telephone. You can also send letters back and forth, however, there is a danger to all this in that your communications can lead to a false sense of lust or love that really isn't real.

[Ducy]

Well imho if there was a chance of her seeing him in a more permanent situation. (i.e. moving out near each other for some reason) than it is possible

[Confusedone]

read my most recent comment it kinda re says some of what i originally had here and updates what the deal is...

i am still just looking for opinions.

[Ducy]

If it was a weekend type deal, it could work. But expect everything to take a lot longer emotionally and possibly physically. (since you only will be able to see each other 2 times a week, and sometimes you wont be able to see her for a month cuz of projects finals etc)

[Confusedone]

realize i know all that...we haven't really finalized the thought...we just kinda got to a point where we had to admit something...we are supposed to talk to night to figure out what we do.

[curious_woman]

I think I can speak about this better than anyone, because I used to be in one and now I am in a successful engagement to my former long distance partner.

First, do as they said and go download MSN/YIM/AIM if you haven't already, and talk to her daily. Share whats on your mind, about your day, the same things a "real-life" couple does everyday. Second, plan a day to meet, and make all the arrangements and stick to it, then you can make a countdown and be happy waiting because you know you will be together. Third, when you do meet, don't have expectations about sex/personal habits/etc. I think you can become very close to someone, and learn about their personality and whatnot very easily online, you can form a bond, but it is not the same as physically being with someone, so don't get ahead of yourself. It is quite possible even though you get along great talking, when you're physically together you might not be as compatible.

Long distance relationships require a lot of patience, and I think you really have to care/love someone, to be patient enough to wait for them and not get with people in real life. Also, you MUST be honest. Lying isn't an option if you actually plan to be with the person, its not just like random people you met online, you have to be honest because that person can find the truth out in real life. In the end, long distance relationships are very emotionally draining...after being with someone romantically in real life, you begin to miss their touch, their scent, the sound of their voice...and it makes you very lonely at nights when you have to sleep alone.

Good Luck, I hope it works out for you like it did for me. Pm if you have any questions.