asking her out

[Newtolove]

so heres my quandrum, I finally moved back to the UK 8 months ago after being in italy for 15 years

so I finally found a club to join specificly 18 - 30 year olds so just me cup of tea to meet people make friends and hopefully a special person.

well as i already knew clubs (not night clubs) are going out of fashion and infact we are the grand total of seven infact less as a few are now over 30 as far as I know there are the grand total of 2 girls in this club (a 3rd is the "retiring" chairwoman at 30), one has just married another member of the club so theres just one single (well I presume) girl we have never really had much chance to talk but I wouldn't mind asking her out or well just suggesting we go for a drink together, I just don't want to come across as "in a hurry" as we practically don't know one another and we meet regularily so I'll see more of her. ok I know i should just ask her not much to loose.

I don't know if its worth paying attention too but she laughed her head off at my description of how my then (as of 1 month ago) work place was run not that i was being particularily humorus about it, and the next week she made a point of asking me if more boxes had arrived (I was laid off due to lack of boxes - so they said) I said I had a new job and she was like "oh and i made a point of remembering to ask you". I was actually thinking of asking her out last week but well after managing to put on a pair of odd socks and not be that good at the "name game" culminating in my only reference to micheal jackson being that he is a pedophile and not sure if he's black or white (still don't knbow lol) I thought it best not to although I had the perfect oportunity

oh dear oh dear well I think next time I'll ask her heck can't loose much... sorry for the mumble jumble

I don't even know where to take her as I've not been around here long, I'm not sure if anyone (me) that chooses to not have a TV is too weird ? hence me being useless at the name game hec I only know the name of one footballer: bekerman because you get to hear about him one way or another anyhow

[Browser]

So wait... was there a question?

[Newtolove]

Originally Posted by Browser

So wait... was there a question?

yea know what you mean I'm not too sure is it early to ask her out ?

[sera300]

Okay you are uncertain not about asking her for a friendly drink, snack, or coffee. Now, that can open as a friend if you find she is not interested in more.

The question you need to pose is; I'd like to grab a drink [insert word] with you since I am new to the area; where can we go since you know the area best?

Keep it friendly not romantic. Feel out her attraction as you get to know her as a friend--no expectations. But be decisive in asking her a night/day meeting [as a friend]! You may not get "involved" but might find a great friend!

[cjb1981]

Keep in mind that some people are attracted to a person who doesn't care about pop-culture...I know that I am. Don't consider your lack of a television or a lack of interest in cultural fads to be any type of handicap, consider them assets It sets you apart from others, it makes you interesting. That goes for any potential relationship that you may have in the future. Also, confidence is key. If you have that, everything else just falls into you lap. Good luck to you

[EvilEvilKitten]

Step 1: make contact - already done and she's generally receptive
Step 2: ask her out for coffee and than ask if there's any place she'd recommend. Set a date and time. Get her phone number.
Step 3: when there chatting with her, find out what she likes to do, and other likse and dislikes - try to get a sense of WHO she is.
Step 4: Wait two days and then invite her out to something she'd enjoy. Prepare for success by having a SECOND date ready BEFORE the end of the first date.MAke the second one also something she'd enjoy.
Step 5: if the First date's a success then and there invite her out for the second date. Specific event, date, time & place.

After that - it is up to you both.

[Newtolove]

ok thanks, yea I think she is just about aware I've not been around for a while cause at the naming game when I said I'd not be very good as I don't watch television the chair woman said well been in a different country for so long does not help, we'll see how we go next week

[Ephemera]

Speak Italian to her.

That'll grab her interest.

Damn. Italian's a hot language.

[Newtolove]

Originally Posted by Ephemera

Speak Italian to her.

That'll grab her interest.

Damn. Italian's a hot language.

really ? or is it that people have a thing about italians (that frankly is unjustified and very overated) but yea I'm not sure if she knows i was in Italy thats the thing we need to be alone and get talking, she didn't turn up to last thursdays meeting unfortunately I'll have to corner her next time still kicking myself in the balls for not asking her last time I had the pefect oportunity (and I think she was expeting it or hoping ?) but I didn't have the balls, it seems the way my lack of skills came out at the name game was judged quite funny (according to one of the other girls)

[Browser]

Originally Posted by Newtolove

really ? or is it that people have a thing about italians (that frankly is unjustified and very overated)...

Don't write off the people of an entire country so easily.