very improtant ? and need your help

[PistolSmoke]

Ok so heres the deal. I have been dating this girl for about 5 months now. We are both really in love. I am 18 and she is 19. She had a really hard time getting over her ex cuz it was here first seriuos relationship and now im her second.

My dad has recently got a job in MI and we live in IL. My family is thinking about moving and there is no chance of me staying here cuz my life will be in MI. i am in love with her and she with me and she tells me she cant be without me and she breaks into tears thinking about if i move. I dont want to break her heart and cant really do 4 hours long distance. What should i do? Im afraid she will hurt herself or something if i break up cuz its that serious with her and i cant live with the thought to see her with another guy

[Ducy]

If you really are afraid of her doing something, and if she has threatened to hurt herself, then tell her parents because she needs help.

[PistolSmoke]

ok well what else should i do? stay with her? cuz im in love. idk. its my first relationship and i love her

[Ephemera]

You're in a situation that is very much like mine.

Here's what I did: Grew up.

I know you love you girl friend more than anything - I know the thought of her with someone else is extremely frustrating and confusing, but you should let her go. You don't have too much of a choice, either. Try your best to end it in good terms and keep in touch.

If you guys are meant to get married, then it will happen in time, it doesn't need to now.

You need to go out and taste what the rest of the world has to offer - she needs to stop being the injured faun being weened back into dating by her new boy friend.

If you guys are together in the end, then that's wonderful. No reason to suffer right now, though.

[Cherry Cheesecake]

Looks to me like your choices are:

1. Move with your family and let her go for now.

2. Get your own place. You are an adult, you don't have to do what your parents do.

Only you can make this decision, you just have to step back and ask yourself how you really feel about her and if she is worth it.

[Ephemera]

When thinking about making that decision ask yourself if you really want to marry this girl, then ask yourself if you are ready to marry this girl.

The answer should most certainly be no. 18 is too young.

[PistolSmoke]

im not going to marry her now but im in love with her. Her being my first for almost everything makes it hard for me to let go. She asked if i can drive out to she her every other week or so which would be a 4 hour drive

[sera300]

Let go and see how you feel when apart; you are facing the fear of the unknown & uncertainty. If you are "meant to be" it will happen; you will find others as well. Your fear of her seeing someone else is your own jealousy; when you truly love someone from the depths of your heart, you want them to be happy in their life even if it's not with you.

How to work on it? Let the distance be the indicator of your relationships ability to withstand the trials and tribulations of time.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Grow up is the right advice - for both you and her.

The fact is that you are moving to MI from IL. She will remain behind in IL. 4 hours is one heck of a killer commute. 5 months does NOT a relationship make. You are the "rebound guy". She is your first INFATUATION. What will happen is a tearful farewell and an attempt to keep in touch but gradually this will fade over time and 'poof' it will all go up in smoke.

Be brave, be kind, be good - and end it now.

Both of you have lives before you. Get on with them.

BTW forget this "meant to be" stuff. Marriage is not forged out of make-believe and happenstance.

[Brandye]

Amen and ditto to the Cat