I am so confused, I dont know what to do...

[SCPunkRebel]

I dated this guy about 2 months ago and he broke up with me after two weeks becuase we found out that I would have to move to South Caronlina in a couple of months [I live in Maryland] and he didm't want to get to attached cause that would only make it harder down the road.

So we promised to stay friends and we have. He is my best friend that there could be, he is always there for me and he is my shoulder to cry on when some other guy makes me cry, he even protects me and watchs over me when we go out with our friends.

But after noticing how the guys I have dated after him treated me like total crap makes me come to realize how good he treated me and how much I really miss him.

I am so confused I really don't know what to do. Someone please help me!!

[sera300]

Date only guys who treat you well... recall your long distance friend does not want a long distance relationship. You are only looking back b/c you are not making good choices in who you keep company with.

[dancingdoc2]

Yup! what she said.

Move forward, continue to date and in the process search for those men who have your best interest in mind. The whole idea of dating is to get closer together with a person than is otherwise possible as just friends. Dating by its very nature is transitory until one or two people become prominent and you begin narrowing the playing field down to just one. Do this only when you are ready to settle down--not when you want someone to "complete you".

The more people you date the better able you will be at recognizing when Mr. Right comes along. Why? Because you will have exposed yourself to lots of different people, each with different characters, values, likes, dislikes, goals, ideals, quirks, etc. As you date additional people, maintain high standards. If you date someone who is not to your liking after one or two or more dates; or, who does not treat you well, then toss him to the curb and continue on. Dating should not begin and end with the first warm body who expresses an interest in us.

The more men you date, the more experiences you will have. The more men you date, the more dates you will likely have to enjoy. The more men you date, the better your chances of finding just the right guy because you will sample all manner of personalities and learn from your experiences what you want and do not want in a potential partner.

It is a wonderful thing to have found a Best Friend; although I'd be hesitant to label him as such after only two months. It takes longer just to sort out and establish a relationship. I have two best friends, one male, one female. The man in my life and I met in the 8th grade; the woman in my life and I have been best friends for twenty years. It took more than two months for these people and me to acquire this status.

To expand upon what Sera stated, it is OK to date and then to find out a guy is not who you would choose. This is when you say thanks but no thanks and move on to the next fella. Making a bad choice is when you decide to compromise and keep him around. Tisk tisk.... Do not be so needy that you will settle for less than you want.

[EvilEvilKitten]

The Three Date Rule. You have three dates to decide if there is anything possible between you two. Using the tradition form, he invites she out for two dates and she invites him out for the third. The one who invites, pays for the date. A date is a specific event at a specific date, time, and place. It is not “to hang out”. When inviting, make it to something your date would enjoy.

Let us suppose he has invited her out for two dates. If she does not then invite him out for the third, he is at liberty to assume that she is not interested in pursuing the relationship. It would be adult of her to tell him so but some women have difficulty being direct and some men have problems with accepting rejection so I am leaving you an ‘easy out’.
-excerpt from my book The Altar Chase

Learn to listen to your instincts. If you cannot decide in 3 dates, then work on becoming more decisive. You CAN date more than one guy simultaneously and I encourage you to do so. This may mean having a heavy social schedule but it is worth it as you sort through the men and discover what you need/want in a partner.

[wet_suit_one]

That's traditional? Where the heck did that tradition come from?

Honestly, growing up under a rock was tough...

Sigh...

[machine_rat]

Originally Posted by SCPunkRebel

But after noticing how the guys I have dated after him treated me like total crap makes me come to realize how good he treated me and how much I really miss him.

This sounds to me like a classic scenario:

Where the girl likes to have a nice guy around who she can present all of her troubles to. Someone who will counsel her in hard times... but untimately she's not attracted to nice guys, she's drawn to the bad boys.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Young flighty girls go for bad boys because they think they're exciting and dangerous. It is similar to young men zooming about on far too powerful motorcycles than they can't handle. It is the danger that excites, not the male himself.

When the girl becomes a woman and puts the toys up onto the shelf for good, that's when the nice guys WIN because now she's looking at the man himself and not merely what he represents for it is only then that she can see that marriage itself, and all that it entails, is the greatest adventure of them all.