in love?

[SmilingInside]

I need the real definition of love. I met this guy about a month ago. We were basically vacationing at the same place. we saw eachother a handful of times, spoke a little, and that was it. then we hung out one week later. one of our mutual friend joined us after about an hour. We really hit it off and we started texting and talking on the phone regularly. We have hung out twice since then (a total of 3 times after meeting), but never alone (except for that first time we hung out, when there weren't any sparks yet.)
This guy is absolutely perfect and I FEEL like I'm falling in love. I know it is not love though because I only know him for about a month. It's not quite infatuation either though. We haven't even kissed, so it isn't that I've fallen in lust with him. I just don't know what it is.
So what I am asking, is for the definition of love. How can i know when I am, infact, in love?

[Ducy]

There is no definition of love. It is whatever you FEEL it is. For instance, I knew I was in love when I realized I couldnt stop thinking about my girlfriend. Everything reminded me of her and I couldnt stop talking (and was nervous around her even after 3 months)

I think the clincher though was when I was sitting in my room extremely frustrated and depressed (grandfathers passing) and I caught a whiff of her perfume on my jacket. Immediately my anger went away only to be replaced with absolute bliss. I dont think I have ever been so happy before.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by SmilingInside

I need the real definition of love. I met this guy about a month ago. We were basically vacationing at the same place. we saw eachother a handful of times, spoke a little, and that was it. then we hung out one week later. one of our mutual friend joined us after about an hour. We really hit it off and we started texting and talking on the phone regularly. We have hung out twice since then (a total of 3 times after meeting), but never alone (except for that first time we hung out, when there weren't any sparks yet.)
This guy is absolutely perfect and I FEEL like I'm falling in love. I know it is not love though because I only know him for about a month. It's not quite infatuation either though. We haven't even kissed, so it isn't that I've fallen in lust with him. I just don't know what it is.
So what I am asking, is for the definition of love. How can i know when I am, infact, in love?

It's those nice chemicals in your brain which cause you to feel as you do. Love takes time and grows. Get to know him for what he is, do you share similar goals, values, treat each other well, etc.? Wait about 2 years until deciding and date many different people. Are you in love? no.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Love? No. But lust - yes. Even if you haven't done anything - it is still lust. That "chemistry" thing, you know.

[Brandye]

Lust, infatuation, appeal, love. No one knows quite where the lines are but the badcat is spot on here.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Please, The Feline of Darkness!

[SmilingInside]

I know it's not love, but what on earth is it?? It's not really infatuation, I don't think. It was wierd, the other night a few of us were hanging out, including him and I and when he left I felt so sad and depressed. I texted him and told him (bad idea?) and I was like crying! I don't know why I was feeling that way! It felt so wierd!! What is this?

[Ducy]

Infatuation. Its basically an obssession that you mistake for love.

[Contessa]

Hmm, I think I'm in the same boat. Very confused as to what to label the thing. But I find that the symptoms are remarkably similar to that of nicotine addiction.

"Nicotine is an addictive drug. It causes changes in the brain that make people want to use it more and more. In addition, addictive drugs cause unpleasant withdrawal symptoms. The good feelings that result when an addictive drug is present — and the bad feelings when it's absent — make breaking any addiction very difficult. Nicotine addiction has historically been one of the hardest addictions to break.

What are the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal?
irritability
impatience
hostility
anxiety
depressed mood
difficulty concentrating
restlessness
decreased heart rate
increased appetite or weight gain"

(Quoted information taken from © 2008 American Heart Association, Inc. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use prohibited. http://www.americanheart.org/present...dentifier=4753)

The only one that isn't true for me personally is the last one, when I get depressed I tend to lose my appetite so I'm more prone to lose weight than to gain weight.

So in order to avoid any confusion about the "L" word (I don't even like using the word love), I just tell my boyfriend that I'm still under the influence of "nicotine addiction".

[EvilEvilKitten]

Oh please! Just face it - it is INFATUATION.