03-13-2008, 10:48 AM
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Complicated but need help
Okay, i met this girl in October 2006, we had a great relationship which lasted 7 months. She split up with me because basically we had "worn" the relationship out. All we did was have sex and argue over things, which is understandable as we are both still young. When she split up with me i was devistated and what made it worse was that she started a relationship with someone else. From then on which was about June last year we was constantly fighting and other people were getting involved like parents and friends. It all ended when i found someone else and got together with them which was around early august time. It was goin ok considering the distance until late September. My ex started textin me saying she's sorry for what she put me through blah blah blah. Rumours were flying around that she was being nice to me so we could get back together. Turned out it was true. So i ended my relationship and got back with my Ex. It lasted a month cos she said we rushed it which is fair enuf. From then on (November) i have been trying to get back with her again. Sometimes she'd tell me she wants to get back with me but i always do something to annoy her which makes her change her mind. Anyway a couple of weeks ago she rang me and told me she realised she wanted to be with me cos i treat her right n that she loves me, and kno1 has ever loved her back. She was certain she wanted to get back wiv me but she sed we shud wait a few days. A few days came and i heard she still wanted to be wiv me so that night i rang her and told her i was goin to text her, she sed ok. I sent her a text asking when somethings going to happen, she never text back, so i text her again n still she never text back, so i texxt her again and she still dint txt back. So i sent her a txt sayin if she's changed her mind just say, n thats when she text back sayin she fell asleep. So i asked her when somethings going to happen n she neva txt back agen. A few texts later she replyed saying im stressin her. The next day i asked if we are still ok and she said we are fine then i asked her if she still wants to get back with and she just said dont kno. From then on there has been alot of tension and nasty words exchange and she said iv pushed her away. Thing is i dont know what to say and do. I really want to be with her, i love her like nothing else. Any ideas?
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03-13-2008, 11:00 AM
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Just date many different people for now. Leave her alone since if you are arguing, stressing the other, annoying the other, and not preparing to get married, you will find yourself back in the same situation. Be nice, be polite, but walk away.
As Doc here always says; date many so you find what you like/dislike in another person. If you are arguing; there are underlying issues which neither of you are prepared for at this time.
__________________
Our backgrounds & circumstances may influence who we are but we are responsible for who we become. 
Last edited by sera300; 03-13-2008 at 11:05 AM.. Reason: type o
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03-13-2008, 11:43 PM
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You rang her to tell her you would text her? Why?!? Why not just say what needs to be said on the phone. The phone is a faaar better way to communicate than texts. And the reason she is unsure now is because you are starting to smother her; sending her lots of texts and asking awkward questions of her. You need to take it a bit slower, meet up with her casually somewhere and get comfortable with each other again, and don't ask awkward questions. Treat it like a new relationship.
That would be the way to do it if you were going to try, but I mostly agree with Sera that you should date other people for a while. If you tried this one again now, it would probably end the same way as the first time, probably even sooner if you are getting needy and she isn't as into you as you are into her.
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03-14-2008, 12:56 AM
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omfg dude i feel u man i can relate to portions of your situation. as for the person that told u to date many ppl cuz ur still young if you really love someone ull wait for them and they will see that u were by their side the whole time and will realize that u love them. i say stay strong and live ur life day by day it helps. try not to be on her like that though i learned the hard way. if ur on her like that she will say ur annoying so just lay back and let her come to u. remember you cant force someone to love you. good luck bro.
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03-14-2008, 02:57 AM
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I rang her to talk to her but when it was time to hang up i told her i needed to text her cos i know she finds it difficult talking about this stuff, i thought it would be easier for her.
I agree with what your saying, iv learned that trying doesn't help cos i just end up annoying her. I guess im just gonna have to stop textin her and get on with my life. Its kinda weird tho cos everytime i meet someone, thats when she comes back. Which isn't fair on me cos i will be moving on, but i love her and i give in.
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03-14-2008, 05:36 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Our backgrounds & circumstances may influence who we are but we are responsible for who we become.
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03-15-2008, 08:21 PM
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It is obvious by the way you type that you do an awful lot of texting...
This girl sounds like she is afraid to be alone. In between breakups I'm sure she's with some other guy, at least until that rebound starts to sour. Do HER a favor and keep distance from her, she needs to grow and become comfortable with herself.
__________________
It's business as usual in the apocalypse, and business is good.
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03-15-2008, 10:10 PM
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OMG! What are you? 13 years old? You're being played by this idiot girl!!
What she is doing is preventing you from finding anyone else. Or hadn't you noticed that she only pays attention to you when you've found someone else? It isn't that she's afraid to be alone - she's doing a power play. She feels, with some truth, that she can wave her tail and you'll sit up and beg. Learn to recognise these ploys by being observant. Do NOT play games and do NOT submit to being played. What you should do is forget her existence. Erase her from your phone. Have nothing more to do with her - EVER. She will soon enough realise that you're no longer vulnerable and will go find someone else to be her patsy. Do this for ANY girl that plays these sorts of games. They are NOT worth it. Cy-anide - just stop giving advice. "If you truly love someone you'll wait for them"?? NO. You don't wait. You in effect say "stand and deliver!" If she/he does not 'deliver' - you take your heart back and you WALK AWAY. It is what adults do. Remember, if you're going to engage in adult play, you have to be adult about it. Last edited by EvilEvilKitten; 03-15-2008 at 10:14 PM..
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03-16-2008, 05:06 AM
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I have deleted her from my phone. I understand what you're saying and i agree, iv been stupid enough not to see that she thinks she can control me. Fact is i need to move on and date other people like you guys say, iv still got my life ahead of me (im 17 nearly 18). I probably made a mistake being with her because its been nothing but misery for past year. It didn't work the first time and it didn't work the second which means it certainly wont work the third.
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03-16-2008, 06:51 AM
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There is one problem. She's still got a DVD boxset i let her borrow and now she's being confrontational and getting people to text me.
How do you suggest i get it back as its not really mine its my brothers. Iv been round to her house but kno1's in so it seems. I know if i ask her she's just gona say no or words to that effect.
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