Help! How to approach this girl...

[steve85]

Hello everyone..this is the first time i post on this forum..So,here it goes..I've been goin to this church for a couple of months now and theres this gorgeous girl that sings there..(i started noticin her like 3 weeks ago) i was checkin my facebook like 3 days ago and goin thru profiles and surprise!!! i ran into hers...so i looked her pics and shes just reaally cute,interesting,funny,etc..we've made eye-contact like 2 times,but i just didnt know what to do or say cuz i dont even know her..i dont know any of her friends..i dont think we have a mutual friend..i know that so far i am failing because im not tryin...but i dont know what to say,how to start,what to talk about or how tobe interesting...sometimes i see her sometimes i dont..so please! somebody help me out!!!!! i keep thinkin about her...
thank you..

[emilie]

Firstly, I must ask (and your entire approach can depend on the answer)...

What is it in particular you want from this girl?
Is it just sex, companionship (serious relationship), friendship or somthing else?

[sera300]

Have you ever thought of going up to her and just talking other & complimented her on singing? You both have church together, discus it & your/her involvement...begin w/idol chit-chat. If ll seem well, ask her out for dinner or a movie.

[GuruGuy]

Firstly Steve, use the fact you don't know any of her friends to your advantage. The main worry that we lads can have when asking a girl out is that if she says no, we'll look stupid in front of our friends. Well, right now, you don't have that problem. So my first advice is, just as Sera said, use the singing as a starting point, have a chat with her and then just naturally ask her something like 'gosh, you really are a lot of fun, I'd was planning on going to see xxxxx movie / visit the mall / go skating / etc this Saturday. I'd love you to come'

Notice that I didn't actually ask, as in 'would you like to go?' Saying something like 'I'd love you to come' or 'I'd love to take you' or even 'You should come' is much stronger than 'will you come with me?'.

The main point is it doesn't matter what you say so much as how it is said, so ask her with a confident, non-needy vibe and you should be good.

The key action here is JUST ASK. You've got little to lose. Don't blow this thing out of proportion, you're just asking her to come and hang out with you, that's all. Worst case scenario is she say she can't go then - in which case it's a great chance to ask for her number for when she could in the future.

Make it a bit of a game, challenge yourself just to relax, and speak to her confidently assuming that she will want to go. It's great to challenge yourself in stepping out like this anyway. Good luck mate.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Don't ask anything! She does not know you. She will turn you down. This is what you do.

You go up to her after church and say "Hi, I'm ---- . I really like your singing." Let her say thank you. Then ask for her name and say "Nice to meet you,---." Let her say the same. If she offers you her hand, shake it. If not, don't worry. Then say "I'll see you next Sunday." And then walk away.

NEVER rush a girl. Progress by easy steps. The next time you come up to her, you can talk about your Facebook pages. Just a little bit more each time - no dates yet. That comes later.

[steve85]

alright..first off,thank you people for replying,it means a lot to me..i was in a 3yr "relationship" with a girl who didnt give a s*it about me,played me and hurt me a lot...that was over like a year and a half ago(thank God) and now this is the first time i feel a strong attraction for someone since the break up..so these are the facts:
1. shes Gf material..(u can tell) i want something serious.
2. she does not know I've seen her facebook profile..i ran into it the other day,it was pure cassuality...i didnt even know her name..i saw her picture and she looked familiar then i clicked on her profile..so if i start talkin about FB she prolly will think im a stalker,a freak or a weirdo..lol
3. i dont know if i should ask her out the same day i meet her..as evilkitten said,she doesnt know me,so shes prolly gonna turn me down..so,should i wait a couple of sundays? i have noticed she sings twice a month but i dont know if she still goes to church the days she doesnt sing..
4.i think shes single..theres no pics with guys on her FB..or any comments from guys..
5.im not sure yet but my boss at work told me about this open position in NY..really good pay..i live in atlanta,georgia..but i still like her..if everything works out well,i will be leavin to NY sometime in april..=( should i still approach her? i wrote this whole thread because,even though i have a big chance of goin to NYC,i still like this girl and i do wanna try talking to her...
6. so what does everybody think? any advice?? any extra comments?

thank you so much!

[nina08]

IMO, if your leaving, there is no point in trying to start a serious commitment, you'll just end up hurting her and possibly you when you leave and break up.

[steve85]

you think? not even to be friends? or maybe i should not talk to her like i wanna date her or anything..i mean,i dont know...but i really would like to meet her..or at least talk to her for 15 secs and at least tell her she has a beautiful voice...

[sera300]

Originally Posted by steve85

you think? not even to be friends? or maybe i should not talk to her like i wanna date her or anything..i mean,i dont know...but i really would like to meet her..or at least talk to her for 15 secs and at least tell her she has a beautiful voice...

If you admire her...be her friend. Stay in touch over the next several years. Ya never know!

[nina08]

you can be her friend all you want! go for it. you can never have too many friends. and its good to be her friend also, because if all does not go well, you can try and take it to the next step.