Questions on Takin' Breaks

[Reggie]

Ok me and my gf have been dating for bout 3 and 1/2 months and weve been arguing alot for the last 2 weeks she said she wanna take a break for about week but she said that she loves me
im not sure how to react to all of this so can i please get some help
thnx

O yea doesnt takin a break mean u will get back together


We dont want to break up thats a last resort thing

[dancingdoc2]

> O yea doesnt takin a break mean u will get back together

It can if the two of you want the relationship to continue; however, this declaration generally means it's over and the party of the first part is letting the party of the second part down gently.

> weve been arguing alot for the last 2 weeks

Why?

One argument should not last past the next morning. Stay up all night if you must and come to a compromise or a negotiated settlement that the two of you can embrace and be happy about and move forward with. Never ever go to bed mad. Stay up all night if you must and work it out.

If the two of you are having disagreement after disagreement then do an analysis of why and fix it. This is a learning experience and life lesson for the rest of your lives whether it is with this person or a new person way down the road.

If you must argue, learn how. There are books on this, although, I do not know any titles. I heard recently that arguing can be healthy; however, it must be done correctly. Personally, I hate "arguments", I much prefer discussions, and negotiations. A negotiated settlement to a dispute or disagreement is where both of you give as much as possible to the other person without giving up the core of what you want. Do not be a "right fighter". If you or she wants to be "right", then you are bound to lose in the long run.

So, what to do? Perhaps talking to her about what I've said and trying a new approach to how the two of you handle disagreements will heal the relationship. If not, then take this to the bank and draw on it in the future with someone else.

[gorgeous_mistake]

Doc,

Sometimes I think going to bed mad is a good thing. I understand the old saying and such; but whenever I argue with my boyfriend at times its over the littlest, dumbest things so by the time we wake up we're pretty much over it, and we tell eachother wow that was stupid the next morning.

[Ducy]

Yes sleep can help with the little things. Argueing over a simple misunderstanding can be helped with sleep, because it can let you calm down, and take a break which helps give you another perspective (i.e. realizing you were wrong or just argueing to argue)

But for massive problems then you have to stay up all night. Because if you dont your simply procrastinating. Its definitely not good to put your problem on hold because its only going to hurt you more

[Ephemera]

If you're fighting over small things constantly, then there's probably a deeper root to the problem.

Why be with someone you bicker with all the time?

Cut the chord and move on, I'd say.

[EvilEvilKitten]

It is "my girlfriend and I", please remember that.

You are arguing after only 3 1/2 months?!?!?
Not only do you need to take a break, you need to break up.
Why?
Because it is too soon for this to be happenng. Therefore you two are not suited to eachother.