kinda need to choose..

[nina08]

ok.. so im going out with this one guy named tyler. and hes great but lately, i have lost interest in him, and i dont want to date him, or so it seems.

then i meet this guy named steve. and i flirted with him and he flirted back. and that was the first time we met. right? i did not cheat on this incident, because i didnt realize i was flirting til someone pointed out then i kinda backed off because i know cheating is wrong.

so steve came over today, and we were like glued on eachother. and when he left we made out, even though i told him we should have waited until i had actually broken up with tyler.

but the hard part is everyone wants me to stay with tyler because he is "the better guy" in their eyes. and i know that he really cares about me, but i dont care about him in more than a friend on friend relationship as of before valentines day (and i met steve about four days ago.)

any advice would be REALLY appreciated.

[oedipussy]

It sounds like you're suffering from a severe case of "Teenage Girl Syndrome"...

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret - none of this matters at all. These are just disposable teenage relationships. Tyler is old; Steve is new. That's all there is to this little triangle of your's. It really doesn't matter which one you choose. The only advice anyone can give you: Do what YOU WANT to do.

As far as your friend's opinions are concerned - they don't matter. We all choose our own roads in life. But if you continue this pattern of jumping from meaningless realtionship to meaningless relationship, years from now you're gonna find yourself in the position where you won't even know who the hell you are because you always defined yourself by your relationships. Trust me, I've seen it... So why get involved with ANYONE right now? Surely you're not planning on marrying either of them...

So in conclusion - You should like totally dump Tyler and make Steve your boyfriend!

[dancingdoc2]

YUP, what he said.

The trouble is that your hormones are ruling your head and everything below it and it is very hard to put them in perspective and let reason and common sense rule.

The opinions of friends and family are often very necessary for they are looking at our life from a distance and can often provide good advice. That said, why are you considering living your life according to what others like? There is a difference between living vicariously and receiving cogent advice from others.

The only time a person cheats on another is when they are married. Until that time you are dating and free to come and go and live life as you want and with whom. The purpose of dating is to get closer to another person than possible from a casual friendship. These closer relationships with others provide opportunities to learn more about what humanity has to offer in the way of personalities, character, likes, dislikes, goals, quirks, values, morals, etc. Dating by its very nature is temporary and transitory. Some relationships last hours, some days, some months, and a few--years. Dating is designed to help us find and then recognize when we have found Mr./Ms. Right. As the field of candidates narrows, relationships become more meaningful and longer lasting. Until then, even if you and others are only dating one person exclusively, you are separate people and not legally or religiously connected, therefore you aren't cheating if you decide to see someone else.

My recommendation: Date lots of people.

[nina08]

thanks to both of you. that helped alot.