Dating a girl that is taken. Need Help.

[Jawiin]

Here's the scoop.

So a good friend of mine and I started hangin out more and more, and it eventually became more than that. We started fooling around sexually, never went as far as actual sex, just oral. And now we almost have a dating relationship.

The problem

She's with a guy that she has been dating for 4 years. Thats why I put off the idea of dating her, cause she's taken. I think the guy she dates is jerk, cause he has cheated on her 5 times during the relationship. But she sticks with him cause he was her first love.

The Situation
A couple of days ago, she said she loved me. We've been foolin around for about 4 months now, good friends for over a year. I said it back to her. I actually think I'm falling hard for this girl. But anytime, i bring the subject of her boyfriend, she ignores it and things get weird between us.

So my question, should I wait, or should I just break it off? Or enjoy it while it lasts?

I'm really confused and need help.

[oedipussy]

This girl is not "taken". She's free to do whatever she pleases.

So have at it!

[Emily69]

I think you have to talk very seriously with her about this. But concidering this is already going on for a few months than somehow she also wants it.

[Roadbobbles]

I would say you need to approach the situation 1 of 2 ways.

#1 Take it very serious - tell her you like her and you've fallen for her and want to be with her on an emotional and physical level - maybe do something above and beyond for her to show her that your serious

#2 Treat it as what it is right now - its a fling - your getting some play, be happy, shut up, and don't do or say anything stupid to mess it up

In conclusion, if your serious, tell her you're serious - if your not, then don't be and enjoy it while it lasts

[EvilEvilKitten]

I will say it again: NO ONE'S MARRIED here so as far as you are concerned her boyfriend, whatever, does NOT exist. What she does on her own time is none of your business and you have only those rights she is willing to give you.

What you think of him is immaterial. He could be the best guy on the planet - none of your business. So jerk or not - ignore his existence. Focus only on her and you.

(Keeping a guy around because "he's my first love" is a bit silly!)

Oh, and stop bandying around the word "love". Yeah yeah yeah - I'm sure you do but - not yet. 4 months is not nearly long enough to decide such things. Give it two years and only then make your decision.

[sera300]

Maybe three years....

[Jawiin]

Thanks for the advice. I think I will keep just having fun with her.

Anybody see any harm in that?

[browneyedgirl]

It doesn't seem like either of them are very serious about their relationship. I don't think there's any harm for you in having fun with her - as long as you are being safe and using condoms every time.

[Ephemera]

If you're alright being her on-the-side thing, go for it!

But she's probably not about to leave her boy friend if she won't even talk to you about it.

Don't get into a situation with the boy friend that you don't want to be in, either.

[Jawiin]

We've went on a couple more dates since my first post. And she schedules time to see me everyday. Think this is a good sign?