still a chance???

[doinmybest]

one of my best friends is still friends with my ex from almost a year ago.(just a few days shy.) He told me that over the last year she has expressed that she still has feelings for me. are these feelings real or are they just the motions from the 2 years that we dated before we broke up? i dont know what to think i still love/ miss her alot and i know that is really pathetic to say but i do. i dont know any advice on this would be helpful to say the least.

[dancingdoc2]

Ask her
Not us.

She knows.
We guess.

[Ducy]

docs right...ask...but be prepared for getting let down...I mean since you never know what wil happen

[browneyedgirl]

We have no way of knowing what she is feeling. The only advice that we can give is on whether you should get back together, for which more information is necessary. Why did you break up? Were you compatible? If there were strong reasons for the breakup (like she cheated on you or made you feel horrible about yourself) then you might consider whether your feelings for each other alone can overcome those things. If it just fizzled out or you two are both completely over whatever may have transpired, then there's no harm in at least checking out whether you're on the same page and want to give things another shot. The best way is to talk to her, or ask your friend to feel out whether your ex would be interested in getting back together or meeting for coffee.

[sera300]

You would be surprised how strong feelings you can have someone years later still. Take the time to talk to her--what do you have to loose?

[EvilEvilKitten]

Since it generally takes two years to 'get over' a serious relationship, of course you two still have feelings for each other. However, browneyedgirl is quite right - THINK about why you broke up BEFORE going back.

All too often people forget the bad and keep going back into toxic relationships thinking that this time: it wil be different, only to find out, no, it isn't. I do not recommend going back.

You need to get out more and to meet new people.

[sera300]

I think much depends on their ages & reasons for a split. Rule is generally if you split it will not work again; the source of contention will resurface after the newness wears off.

Best to hope for? Talk & remain friends. I dated a man for some years--later we became engaged. Issues came up, we split. Did a repeat performance a few months later and again failed. Ended the engagement just prior to the wedding.

I spoke with him many times since; we had dinner as friends not long ago for a reason--helped me with a project I am working on & knew I was ill. Recently he called again to let me know about a death of a mutual friend. This was the first time he was honest with me to the core. BUT I cannot go back there. All I can do is be a friend at a distance, he needs to date and to be free. He is not the marrying type---married to his career. Love does not vanish the strength of it just fades with time.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Yet you still feel some affection for him and understand him better than you did before, Sera. So while not love in a grand fashion - there remains some abiding care & concern for each other between you.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Yet you still feel some affection for him and understand him better than you did before, Sera. So while not love in a grand fashion - there remains some abiding care & concern for each other between you.

Yes, care & concern. Mainly over him finding happiness within life. The sources were what I pointed at years back [he did not want to deal/face them]& since, very recently, he has made some changes. It was too much too fast for him, I had been on my own for a while (a few years), he had not. I do care for him, love him for what was, but seek what my future holds!

Hold on to the good but recall there was/will be difficulties which cannot change.