He Has A Girlfriend.......

[MissGoodas]

I am involved witha guy who has a girlfriend. We have had feeling for eachother for a long time. Our timing was just bad, now he is in a somewhat semi serious relationship but he finds his self physically and enmotionally attracted to me. This affair has been going on for a little while now should I end it before it gets to serious and he starts to really care for me(because I have made up my mind to keep it just physical to avoid any setbacks)? And one more thing why do guys who are having side relations feel compelled to have jealousy issues with their side person?

[chibacochoke]

missgoodas - do you really hate his girlfriend that much? being cheated on is the most heart-stopping, god awful thing i can think of.

[MissGoodas]

Originally Posted by chibacochoke

missgoodas - do you really hate his girlfriend that much? being cheated on is the most heart-stopping, god awful thing i can think of.

I already feel bad about it I'm asking for advice I don't want to be criticized.

[oedipussy]

Don't mind chiba - apparently she's just bitter about something...

I'm not sure exactly what you want advice about, but as long as there aren't any complications, I say "full steam ahead!".

As far as the jealousy thing goes, that only happens with insecure guys. Guess you're not choosing too wisely.

[MissGoodas]

Thank you for the advice but I was just asking about the jealousy. But in this situation who would care about that. I choose right believe me! These are just some of the times I don't feel bad but why do people always put the situation off on the female I'm not the one with an attachment he is just as responsible if not more. Am I right or wrong?

[EvilEvilKitten]

Have fun with this! No one's married here. Of course, you're just exploring at this time so it is best that you don't take anything about this relationship seriously. The choice is his to make. Doesn't involve you at all. His other girls are his business, not yours. As far as you are concerned, they do not exist.

Others here will be upset with me but I do not feel that being labeled boyfriend/girlfriend is serious. Pffft. Honey, it isn't serious until he's asking you to marry him! Until then - it is all fun and games.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by MissGoodas

I am involved witha guy who has a girlfriend. We have had feeling for eachother for a long time. Our timing was just bad, now he is in a somewhat semi serious relationship but he finds his self physically and enmotionally attracted to me. This affair has been going on for a little while now should I end it before it gets to serious and he starts to really care for me(because I have made up my mind to keep it just physical to avoid any setbacks)? And one more thing why do guys who are having side relations feel compelled to have jealousy issues with their side person?

Affairs only extend to those who are married. Not married? Play the field. Date no one exclusively. If he was that "serious" about her; he would not be playing around with you. If he's playing with you, assume he is with others as well.

[emilie]

Just remember 1 thing.

He likes her enough not to end it for you.
He likes you enough not to end it with her.
You are both disposable at any time.

[Ephemera]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Have fun with this! No one's married here. Of course, you're just exploring at this time so it is best that you don't take anything about this relationship seriously. The choice is his to make. Doesn't involve you at all. His other girls are his business, not yours. As far as you are concerned, they do not exist.

Others here will be upset with me but I do not feel that being labeled boyfriend/girlfriend is serious. Pffft. Honey, it isn't serious until he's asking you to marry him! Until then - it is all fun and games.

Evil,

If only the world were as smart as you. And I mean that 100% sincerely.

However, most people do not think that way, and jealousy is a very natural thing to feel, though, it usually only impedes the jealous one's happiness.

If you're with someone who is jealous and cannot handle your being with someone else, just let him or her go. It isn't worth the emotional stress, and if you both can't agree on that aspect of your lives, then it shouldn't be at all.

Have fun, but don't allow people to **** with their own heads.

[EvilEvilKitten]

That's why I am here, Eph. So people will learn that jealousy is just another word for PRISON for the recipient and INSECURE LOSER for the jealous person.

Example: girlfriend unfortunate enough to have married a jealous man came home to find him burning her cassette tapes from her car and her work clothes in the backyard grill. Of course this was the same man who would **** anything that moved for all of 10 seconds - leaving her to wonder how could he stand to embarass himself like that. And he grilled her after every phone call and after every return home. Yes, they are divorced now.

Remember people, his being jealous/possessive of you really means he wants to control you, own you, enslave you because he doesn't trust you and he doesn't believe you when you say you love him - he thinks you're LYING whatever you say.

Being jealous does NOT mean that he loves you.