Does it matter who drives...?

[John117]

Hi, everyone.

I am 18 years old, and I'm interested in a girl, who is also 18. We're in our first year of college, and I don't have a car because my idiotic parents don't trust me enough. Trust is an important part of any relationship, and since then our relationship went up in smoke. It was either I have a car, or I save up to get a used car. But they won't let me do that either! Because they don't want me driving around in a "wreck". That's why people check and test drive before they buy... Yes, they ARE that unreasonable without common sense and incapable of making critical choices.

So does it matter who drives? Or would it be too informal to ask someone out and then have them drive, or it doesn't matter?

[Doom Bat]

If you're both going to the same college then there should be plenty of places on campus that you two could go to that are walking distance, right?

I don't know about your relationship with your parents, so I'm not going to comment on that part. I don't think it would be informal to have the lady drive, but that's just me. Don't make it seems like, "Hey, I need a ride, but you can come too" sort of thing though.

I suggest doing the walking distance stuff though before you try getting into her car. After class (assuming you have classes together) just ask if you guys want to walk to the coffee shop nearby (or on campus, I know UC Davis has a couple places you could go to on campus).

[dancingdoc2]

Hello John, and welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please take a few moments and read the Board Notices threads at the top of the main screen.

> I don't have a car because my idiotic parents don't trust me enough.

Have you done something to loose their trust, or, is it that you just have not yet earned their trust? First, if you want to earn points, begin by considering that they might know things that you do not and that what seems like an idiotic decision may not be. With that in mind if you want to earn points, here, please reconsider how you refer to them.

You may be a legal adult yet you are a teenager and while much of you has matured, not everything about you has. The frontal lobe of the brain is the last to develop and it will not be finished until you are about 21+! It is this portion of the brain that is responsible for seeing around corners and being able to predict the consequences of our actions. Boys in your age range have more accidents and more serious injuries than at any other age. Could it be that they have your best interest at heart?

Are you saying that you cannot drive--even the family car, or, just that you do not have a car of your own on which you pay insurance, fuel, and maintenance?

> So does it matter who drives? Or would it be too informal to ask someone out and then have them drive, or it doesn't matter?

Of course it doesn't matter in the overall scheme of things. Heck, I imagine in NYC where there are 13,000 cabs out on the streets at any given time, as well as other major metropolitan areas, there are kids who have a "chauffeur" to take them from place to place.

I know it is a guy thing to ask a girl out, call for her, and whisk her away for an enchanted evening. So what is a guy to do who for medical reasons cannot drive or who does not yet have a license? Does he not date, does he double date? Does the girl drive?

It seems to me that your concern has a lowest common denominator--communication as well as circumstance. If you want to date a girl, ask her, and if you do not have access to the family car, cannot double date, or pick her up in a taxi, then ask her if she would mind driving. Let her know what the limitation is and why you ask. And, don't mention "idiotic" when mentioning your parents.

If she agrees to drive, make sure you do not distract her from her task and make sure she drives safely. Look out for both of you. Don't be stupid and think that while she is driving, you can run your fingers up her leg. Girls have been known to run off the road and hit trees and cause serious injury and death while being distracted by a passenger or while using a cellphone!

Next, communicate with your parents from a position of respect and understanding about where they are coming from and ask what you can do to begin building trust.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[Brandye]

I had graduated medical school, completed an internship and two residencies and post-doc studies before I owned a car. My fiance (in another country) and I acquired autos at about the same time. Did not seem to have stunted social development at all. Sometimes I wish I did not need one now. Pain in the neck at times.

Who drives? Who cares?

[sera300]

Most colleges do not allow students to have cars on campus until after Freshman/Sophomore year.

Save your money, for car insurance & a vehicle. Take the test and you have a car. If you expect them to provide a car, insurance, fuel, and college...well that's too much. Also, check the rates for a male your age...

As far as the woman...depends. You can use a taxi and go out.

[constantlylearning]

Sera, some actually give you cars especially if you are talented....

[sera300]

Originally Posted by constantlylearning

Sera, some actually give you cars especially if you are talented....

How talented? Give you cars? I don't know...had one ready when I was 15 & bought the second when 16/17...never was an issue for me. LOL!

[constantlylearning]

Yeah, I was in your boat as well........Very talented.........think...

[sera300]

Originally Posted by constantlylearning

Yeah, I was in your boat as well........Very talented.........think...

Talented as far as? Then you paused and said "think"--lost me there, rather confused me to clarify.

[constantlylearning]

"In the same boat as you" concerning the autos....
Sort of being funny about people being given cars in college (those
that are talented at various sports). Didn't think you had caught that
one.........LOL