making her "fall in love" with me again

[goatman88]

So, my g/f and I have been dating almost 2 months, though it seems like alot longer. We get along great, have talked out any problems so far, although recently, particularly this past weekend, I acted pretty dumb and immature, and she told me so. Waking her up when she didnt feel good, messin with her, generally getting her upset and being annoying. I told her I was sorry for that and I would stop. Still, how do I generally make the relationship seem "new" again. Ive heard that every couple, around the 2-3 month mark begins feeling like theres nothing new to discover about each other, nothing new to do anymore. I dont wanna do that and risk messing everything up. What can I do? Any places I can take her (that preferably arent too expensive)? How can I fix this?

[Brandye]

Two months??!! Get real!! The ennui sets in after a few years if there was any spark at all to begin with. If you think you have done everything in two months, you lead a sheltered and dull life.

Before your next g/f (this one is lost), get a copy of the Joy of Sex. If that does not keep you busy for ten years or so, you are not following directions.

[sera300]

Fix it? No fix, done & over. Treat the next lady better.

[goatman88]

Guys, Im not just gonna up and leave her like that. I just want new ideas on stuff to do. Perhaps I worded it wrong or somethin, we arent bored with each other, just looking for different stuff to do. We have started doin new stuff sexually, that has really been great. But, I didnt think Id get ****ty advice such as "Its done. Treat the next lady better". My friend told me this site was supposed to be much better than the one I came from, but judging from those posts, Im not sure.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Okay, I will be the "evil one" and spell it out for you.

You did something entirely SELFISH this past weekend.
You woke her up when she was ill, and you basically told her by your actions "you don't matter and all that does is what I want when and how I want it." Now does that sound like how you yourself would want her to treat you? No, of course it isn't. And if you can treat her "just let me get my dick wet" after ONLY 2 months, then the prospects for you two to have a long and happy relationship are NIL. Got that? That's what the ladies were telling you. Obviously we who answered you would have kicked your ass out the door immediately. Hopefully, your girlfriend will give you another chance.

Now then, step two - how to fix this. Don't ask US, ask HER. What does SHE want from you? Find out and THEN come back and we'll discuss it. But one thing I will say is that taking her anywhere and doing something special is NOT going to "fix" this. Grand gestures do not SOLVE issues. TALKING effectively and honestly solves issues. Try that first.

[goatman88]

I told her that I realized I was being an ass, and apologized for it, she said it was ok. We are pretty good at talking about issues that come up, so I hope its solved and we can get on with things. Maybe it would be best to close this topic.

[dancingdoc2]

EEK is correct, grand gestures do not fix a wrong. Women have long memories and unless and until they know that you understand the impact of whatever you did they will not likely forgive and forget. If in fact you woke her up, etc., because of self centered reasons without thinking about how this would impact her, then let her know you "get it" and that it was unfeeling or uncaring or selfish, or whatever, and that you will be more thoughtful and considerate in the future. Then, make sure you think twice before acting once in the future.

As for what to do and where to go that are not expensive activities, there are two approaches you can take. First, the least expensive (not considering the price of gasoline) is spending time together. Where? Out in the country along a deserted road, over the fence in a field--or, if way out in the country/forest, then take a short exploratory walk. If your area has birds, take some seed along and feed those that are around. Spend some time in a park, just fiddling with the grass, looking at other people, and just generally chatting about nothing particularly important. Walk the mall halls and window shop. If there is a zoo nearby, do some "zoology". If there is a nature preserve in the area, explore that. The point of each is to spend quality time together exploring each other by talking and observing. The settings will do the following for you; first, it will get you out in the fresh air; second, each setting will stimulate your five senses differently; third, each will help give you things to talk about.

If you want to kick it up a notch, then take a couple of pillows and a blanket along when going somewhere out of doors. Stop by KFC on the way and pick up lunch for a picnic.

Make certain that your time together during any of these activities is light and fun. Do not choose these for heavy topics of discussion or problem solving venues.

Movies:

* If you go, try to get there early enough so you can pick a pair of seats in the center of the screen that will place your eye level about half-way up the screen, especially if the theater has stadium seating or an upper row.

* If you plan on making out, try sitting in the rear on the left. Why, because when people enter a store/building, they normally look to the right upon walking in.

* When choosing a movie, assuming you have a choice, ask for her input. Do not make it about "me" and what "I" want to see, just dragging her along. Try and make the selection together. If she does not care, then it means she is open to being entertained and in just being with you. If there is a movie that particularly interests her, although not you, take her to see it and be nice before, during, and after. Of course you can voice your opinion about the movie or tell her you are not interested in it, but that that doesn't stop you from wanting to please her and share time with her.

Restaurants:
Many upscale restaurants serve lunch until 3-3:30. Walk in just before they switch over to dinner and you might be able to have both for the lunch price; AND, the facility is usually less crowded and noisy.

If you want to go during dinner hours, check to see if reservations are recommended. If so, make them and be sure to show up on time. Going early (5:30-6:00) is often better than later, unless you desire a late evening meal like around 7:30-8:00).

Check out the restaurants in your community beforehand and learn what is on the menus and how much an average meal costs. Do not go and then be embarrassingly surprised. Quietly inform her that she can have anything on the menu, or, that your limit is $x.00. Obviously you will pick a place that is within your budget, yet while the average price may be $10-$12.00, do not over look the fact that fish or some other specialty dish may cost $16-$20.00!

If she is adventuresome, try having either a progressive or regressive dinner, once.
Progressive: Begin in restaurant #! with soup and salad, leave and go to #2 for the entre', leave and go to #3 for desert.

Regressive: Begin with desert, and work your way to the soup and/or salad.

I grew up in a small town in Northern California so I understand that options can be limited. Ask friends your own age and older what their recommendations are and discard those that are not appropriate. Take any good suggestions, and perhaps add your own twist to them. Learn to be creative. Similarly, ask her what she would like to do once in a while.

I hope this is of help.

[Ducy]

Actually the advice that was given was good. You just need to really stop being immature about it. Do you think that I got butt hurt over sera and eek telling me that my relationship was over. NO!

Life isnt fair and if you dont like the advie you got, then tell you what, tell US what YOU want us to tell you. OK? And she said it was ok for you being an ass. (SORRY LADIES IF THIS IS SEXIST) But that generally means you f***ed up and I am going to be pissed at you for a good long time...but Im not going to show it, Im going to smile and go along just silently loathing you!

That was great advice btw. Wasn't in any way s**tty advice.Your relationship is done. You let sex get in the way, and if you are such an ass about sex only two months in and she was sick, just wait. You really care for her and such, and then you get married she gets pregnant, has a kid, and doesnt feel like having sex for a good while after cuz she is still recovering from the birth. Then what be an ass for her for a long time? Or just follow your dick to greener pastures?

And whoever you get your sources from, they must smoke crack of something cuz in all my years of helping friends, and visiting forums like this, I have NEVER heard of feeling bored after 2 months. After about 2 maybe 3 years yea...but 2 months...move on cuz obviously you guys are just way too bored with each other. (WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID SOMETHING YOU ENJOYED THAT FELT LIKE IT TOOK FOREVER? USUALLY WHEN ITS SOMETHING OR SOMEONE THAT YOU ENJOY TIME PASSES TOO QUICK! AND ACCORDING TO YOU IT SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER ALOT LONGER!)

[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by goatman88

Any places I can take her (that preferably arent too expensive)? How can I fix this?

Everybody hold your horses. "Woe, Nellie." Let's assume the o/p is young and inexperienced at dating. Now, read this, again, and give him some ideas that come from your prior dating scenarios. Pay it forward and help the lad out. This is what I tried to do.

[Ducy]

Walk or dinner at the beach. Get a mini dvd player, (if you already own one) grab a blanket and curl up in the back of a car and watch a movie (seems like your out in the middle of no where, but you could stay in the garage Go play at a park...the little things are actually fun.