The MySpace Problem...

[Rail]

I have been going with my GF now for about 7 months... we have had our ups and downs, and it took almost 6 months before she was able to tell me she loved me.
Things have been going great since then! But I still cannot help but feel sad and depressed when I see that my GF has added her ex to her myspace page.
She told me once that he contacted her via her work E-mail, and she wasn't sure what to do. (Write back, or ignore him) I told her at first to ignore him, but realized that is childish and I told her it did not bother me that she spoke with him. Apparently he broke up with the girl that he left my GF for, and was looking for sympathy and probably more.

Truth is, it does bother me... shouldn't it? I don't think it is unreasonable.
Now I see the guy is on her MySpace page. She has not mentioned it to me, probably because I could not hide the fact I was a little upset and disappointed with her choice when she first told me about the Email. My ex GF once contacted me on MySpace (when I was single), and we chatted for a bit... but I did not add her to my friends list. I didn't want to stay in contact with her. Is this different for women?

Has anyone been in similar situations? Im sure this happens all the time, and I need to know how I should feel. I feel hurt and a bit sad; maybe I just don't trust other guys... and maybe she is a bit gullible. But because she can not just come out and tell me, makes me worried. Should I confront her? Should I ignore it? How can I ease my uneasiness?

[katia]

Hi Rail

i know how you are feeling. :-(
This happen with many people, in many different stages in life.

Instead confront her or ignore the situation, what about you really seat and have a nice conversation with her about it. You always can be honest with her (she will realize if you open your heart). You can say that you was thinking that you will not bother with the situation, but you are feeling little bit disconfortable.

I always agrree with the COVERSATION WAY!. Exist 98765467890 ways to say something. you need to choose the better one to do it.

If she really love you, she will understand it. I dont think that she need to stop to talk with her ex, but if she really understand how you are feeling, she will keep him away for other kind of intentions.

In the past you didnt add your ex, but this not mean that your actuall girlfriend cannot add her ex. Everybody is different. You cannot expect that she have the same kind of actions than you.

What I really think is: if she had something to hide, she will not tell you the truth. So, I prefer to think that she's being genuine.


This is my opinion. I'm not right, I'm not wrong. And I speak english very bad.

But If my words help you, I will be happy.

All the best for you. Keep in touch.

xxx
katia

[oedipussy]

Oh my God... Seriously, don't you have anything better to worry about? This is ridiculous... None of this stuff means anything. It's a non-issue.

Your girlfriend is not your property - She can speak to whoever she wants. She can be friends with whoever she wants. IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! If you can't handle that, perhaps she should find another guy who can... Stop being so insecure and get over it.

[curious_woman]

My partner has a couple of his ex's on msn, Facebook and Hi5. I found out about the Hi5 one a long time ago when we first started dating, his ex had left a comment in Portuguese, so I asked him to translate it. It said "kisses" at the end, and I got a bit jealous but its a cultural thing and even some of his very straight male friends say it to him.

Anyways my point is, he told me about it when I asked. It hasn't bothered me since, I'm in contact with a few of my ex's too. Ask her politely and calmly about it, if she seems genuine just leave it. You'll know by her reaction if she has something to hide.

[Rail]

Thanks... It really isn't a big deal. I may feel a little bad, but I am confident enough to not worry a great deal about it. Thanks for the helpful comments.

You are right oedipussy... it is none of my business and she can be friends with and talk to whoever she wants. I am being to jealous and need to just let it go. Thank you for telling it to me straight like that.

[Ephemera]

Dude, just delete your MySpace.

Problem solved.

[Rail]

I just needed to know that I was being unreasonable.
I have never been in this situation before, and I get scared easy.
My self esteem is pretty low; I don't know why and I am working on it I think.
I have always hated MySpace, I have very high moral integrity and I know that I cannot make others think the same way I do.
So, I feel better now. I need to start thinking about myself instead of myspace.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Rail - Oedi's point is the truth. Do NOT make her the custodian of your self-esteem! You have value in and of yourself, period. And so does she. Let the fears you have just go away! They will only hold you back and poison your relationships. As far as you are concerned - there ARE NO OTHER MEN in her life. They simply do NOT exist. Having this attitude means that when she is with you - she has CHOSEN to be with you. That should be sufficient.