Sex drive higher than his

[catholicschoolgirl]

I've been dating this wonderful man for almost a year now. My sex drive is incredibly high.....his is not. There isn't much of a age difference between us, he's 41 I'm 37. The problem......I love sex. I love sex with him. I was in a marriage where I begged for sex. Now I feel I'm begging again. He says sex isn't on my mind 24/7 like mine is. He's not looking to have sex everyday or every other day. I tried to explain I just like the closeness, the kissing, the cuddling. I don't need to have sex everyday either. He says there are other important things to a relationship besides sex. Am I blowing it out of porportion when I think he doesn't desire me or if I feel rejected when he doesn't want sex? Am I weird? Should I start to look for someone who has a sex drive equal to mine (although not a reasonable idea)?

[browneyedgirl]

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. One thing that might be worth pointing out is that tho you are fairly close in age, a woman is in her sexual prime at your age, where a male is in his prime at 18 or 20. You say you aren't asking to have sex everyday, just enough to satisfy both of your needs and have intimacy. Of course there are other important aspects to a relationship, but it doesn't sound like this is some fling and that's all you're interested in him for.

First of all, communication is key. Make sure you really sit down (outside of the bedroom) and discuss sex as a serious issue. How often does he want to have sex? Once a week, every two weeks? Do you approach him a lot and get turned down? Think about what he says to you and why you feel rejected. Does he make you feel attractive? How is the sex when you do have it? I guess what you guys have to figure out is what a good compromise could be so that you are both fulfilled. Maybe instead of having a full-blown session he could go down on you or watch you get yourself off sometimes when he isn't in the mood for sex.

If he's just not willing to have that much sex, then you have to consider whether sex is a deal breaker for you and how good the rest of your relationship is. Other than that, the only thing I can think of is a) see if he'd be interested in swinging, or b) find a different guy. Good luck!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Why are you selecting men whose sex drives do not equal yours?
You did this before remember and now, you have let yourself fall into the same sort of relationship.
WHY?

Stop wasting your time. Go and find someone whose sex drive equals your own. There are plenty of them out there.

[justarookie]

i may not have any where near the experience as you...but i do know that a sexually demanding person should try and find some one on their level... i dont know if this is an answer you want, but maybe you should find a less serious relationship, maybe with some one younger, wait for your ever lasting hunger to be some-what appeased, and see where that takes you... its hard for me to relate in the whole age and gender area, but i too have a decent appetite, i just try to control it, more of a curse than a blessing, you know?