Tell her everything or no?

[TheChad]

Alright well I'm in a situation with a girl where I have about a month and a half before she won't be at school next semester (interning). We have gone back and forth for awhile now with her staying the night over at my place and myself staying at her place every now and then. Its hard for anything to progress further than that because shes always busy with school (this isnt just some excuse she gives me either, its the truth.) Well this past weekend I guess I was really drunk at a party and was ripping on her about studying so much and being boring. I guess it really hurt her and she left. Now I'm in the situation where I need to make things better. I want to tell her shes the most amazing girl I have ever met or been with but know playing all these cards isnt always the best of ideas.

I know she atleast likes me a little but really have no idea if its anywhere as much as I care for her. Any opinions of laying it all on the line in this situation?

thanks

[sera300]

Just be her friend...oh --be nice..apologize for your rudeness while intoxicated.

[TheChad]

i think it would be too hard to just be her friend

[LoveGems]

Its up to you at the end of the day...if you feel like telling her how much you like her, but then she doesn't like you as much back, then you risk having an awkwardness between you both, which can cost you your friendship.

Although it could go the otherway and she may like you just as much. You will only know by asking, or just wait, and see what time shows.

[THQMA5]

she might still like you as you like her but she could still be hurt and she might be to hurt to trust you or forgive you.

[dancingdoc2]

All of the above replies are spot on. What you seemed to have lost sight of in your less inhibited state was what her primary focus is--education. Regardless of what she may feel for you, and to what extent, at this time in her life, a relationship is secondary. Please keep this in perspective as you move forward.

[TheChad]

thanks for all of your replies. I do know how important school is to her right now and I don't want to get in the way of that. The last person in the world I want to make upset is her and unfortunately after having too much to drink I let something thats been on my mind shoot out...... I didnt really mean shes boring or spend too much time on school work but wish I could see her more.

I did walk to class with her yesterday and apologized and explained that I definately dont think shes boring. She seemed okay with it and said dont worry about it but her being a very soft spoken and shy person I can see her giving this reply either way.

I feel I'm in a battle I cannot win at the moment. And if anything towards a relationship would happen between us it wouldnt be until she returns some time next August. (which definately lets my mind wonder about her finding someone else). I really find myself thinking about her all day, before I fall asleep, and the first thing I think about when I wake up. The feeling I get when I do spend time with her is something I've never felt with any other girl.

Thanks for the replies

[dancingdoc2]

As a new member to our community, you may not have read any of my posts in which I expound on the fact that dating is key to a person's growth and development, Dating does not begin and end with the first warm body who expresses an interest in us. Exclusive relationships early in a person's life (teens and early twenties) are usually temporary and when break ups occur often traumatic. Add to this the tug of war often inherent and these early relationships have lots of drama. More often than not who we date at 16, 19, and 21 are not the people we will settle in with and later marry. One way to help us choose Mr. or Ms. Right is to date a lot of people, and none exclusively.

The purpose of dating is to bring two people closer together than is possible in a general friendship in order to learn more about them and to see if they fit what we need and desire in a mate. The more people we date the more we learn about what humanity has to offer in the way of character, likes, dislikes, goals, morals, values, quirks, etc. The more a person dates, the more opportunities s/he has to experience life. The more people we date the better able we are to determine when the right person comes along. A person in their mid twenties is much better prepared to recognize a potential mate than a teen or young adult.

My recommendation is to keep the lines of communication open, move the relationship along, yet not try to maintain exclusivity. If the two of you are "made for each other", dating other people will only confirm and solidify this. If not, dating others will make any break up much less traumatic. As mentioned, there will also be less stress and drama in these less restrictive relationships.

[holtbabe77]

You did the right thing by apologizing; Im a girl and that's what I would want in that situation. Also, if you tell her you like her and would like to give it another try, I can't see that going very wrong.

[Sweetness12]

The truth always comes out when you are drinking no matter what it is... Good or bad.