Am I coming on too strong? What is going on with this girl at work?

[skineearms]

I was introduced to a girl at work about three weeks ago by a mutual co-worker. We actually work in different departments/buildings, so I rarely see her unless I go to her building for something or if I see her walking around the building during breaks. I usually initiate the conversation when we go out or via email.

Week 1:
I invited her to lunch the Friday of the same week that I met her. She dressed up really nice for our Friday lunch (Friday is a casual dress day) and she actually forgoed her pot luck to go out to lunch with me. She was a bit shy but things looked optimistic. As a matter of fact, she invited me to her department afterwards to go to the remainder of the potluck.

Week 2:
The next week we started to exchange some daily emails. I invited her out for coffee mid-week but she had to leave that day for a forum, but asked if we could go the next day. The next day we went out for coffee and we had a quality conversation. We talked about going to see a movie and she seemed excited about it. We decided to go Sunday since I already had plans on Saturday. However, Friday afternoon she said she wasn't feeling well and would let me know if she could go Sunday. We exchanged some text messages on Saturday and she said that she couldn't go because she was feeling ill, but that she was trying to get better. As of this point, I started to grow skeptical...

Week 3 (this week)
The beginning of this week, I asked how she was doing and she said she ended up going to the emergency room that previous Friday. This sounded a little ridiculous but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I took her out for ice cream mid-week and the conversation was a little more serious. She mentioned to me about some of her health issues and that she gets sick alot. Her doctor diagnosed her w/ a form of depression and that this may cause her to get sick so often. She asked me to not mention this to anyone at work. She also mentioned about one of her past relationships at work with someone in her department and how she got burned. I told her, I wouldn't say anything and that even with all that she told me, I still enjoyed her company. I ended up asking her outside of work this weekend, but she already had plans. The earliest we could go out would be the following Sunday. I joked around about getting shot down by her but she said she stays very busy. I told her no problem and that we could get together when she was free.

I decided to lay low for the remainder of the week and let things settle in. Unfortunately, a guy in her department overheard her mentioning that she wasn't interested to some extent. That guy told my buddy who told me to lay low or not pursue this anymore.

What I don't understand is: Why would she be telling me all this privte stuff if she wasn't interested, especially since I could go and tell everybody? I haven't heard this news directly from her, so the info could have been misinterpreted. Does anyone have any suggestions? Am I coming on too strong?

[PistolSmoke]

yo ishe liked you she would talk to you. girls often try to get what they want and when they don't they try harder lol. i say forget her, still talk to her here and there but don't over stress her and keep thinking bout her

[skineearms]

Pistolesmoke, I see where you are coming from. However, up until that point where I heard the rumour, I thought everything was going pretty well. We talked at work, although most of it is via email and we actually mentioned going out the following week during lunch. I try to limit the face to face encounters at work since there are other people around, but once in awhile I would go over to her department to say hello to one of my other friends and also say hi to her.

[sera300]

She was looking for a friend. End of story. Move on & be polite.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Lunch, coffee, ice cream - all perfectly "safe" because public and essentially meaningless ways to get with a man. But a movie is something more serious. There, you're one on one in the dark. She ran at that point.

Take the hint. Move on.

[browneyedgirl]

I agree with the others. It sounds like she likes you as a friend but isn't sure about you romantically. Let things cool off. Don't initiate the next contact. If she emails you or asks you out to coffee, go, but don't look overeager. You would do better to develop a friendship and then feel things out. If they are meant to go further, they will. Otherwise you have someone to have lunch with at work.