is it ok to be protective?

[trip4488]

i was raised diffrent if a guy ever looked at my mom wrong or insulted her my father figure beat him up. i dont know if this is healthy. some guy called my mom a **** and he ran out of Wallmart and my dad chased him to his car and beat his way through the wind sheild.
its hard for me not to be protective i havent done anything like that i just want to know what you people think i should do if that ever happens in my life. because my ex told me if a guy grabs my ass and you do somthng about it, ill break up with you! and now im dating some one else and i love her and i dont know what i should do.
so i would like some opinion's-answers-thoughts anything you think would help.
please?

[Ducy]

My grandfather was the same way. One day my grandmas ex ran into her at the store, and called her some names and my grandpa reached into his glove box and put some .45's into the guys windshield and car as the guy drove away.

That was different times though. Nowadays, you cant go around slamming peoples heads through their windsheilds or throwing them off a bridge because they do something wrong. There is nothing wrong with being protective....but not 24/7...theres no reason to be like the secret service, unless it calls for it. At the mall during the day...not so much...walking to your car at night, or something along that lines then its a different story.

If someone grabbed any of my females friends buts, chests, or any other personal parts, I would bust them upside the head no problem.

But name calling...well sticks and stones my friend sticks and stones

[trip4488]

see i was raised my life would be old school F*** with me or famliy then u get put in 6ft LOL
well thank you!
another you might be able to help with. im 19 and my G/F 1s 16 her parents hate me- she loves me herparents hate her sh wants to be emancepated lol spell check- any way she wants out of her home and she wants to be with me she wants to get married ect and i need suggestions cuz im afraid of prison ive been to jail i dont like that ****, idk wat to do i love her too but idk wat too do i was told love is all u need i like that answer its just love wont keep me out of jail. she wants me and her to go to a lawer and talk this **** out and see what we can do what do you think.

[Ducy]

To be honest...it sounds a bit soon to be thinking about marriage.

Her parents hate both of you? sorry it was just a bit confusing lol. Love isnt all you need, you need to work towards a relationship not just sit back cuz you love each other. If this is something you really want, and both you and her can manage to live together, then why not, consult a lawyer about emancipation...But think becfore you act.

Be careful though, her parents can call the police and say that their 16 year old is having sex with a 19 year old...dont know what your states consent laws are, but where I am its 18. So if shes underage, it can mean problems...even if your not having sex, they will still arrest you, and question and investigate a bit. Happened to my neighbor about 3 years back.

[katiebug]

Unless I am being beaten, raped or otherwise fearing for my life, I do not want any man coming to my rescue much less cussing out or beating up someone else that approached me. Why get slammed with assault charges or worse, for something so stupid. Women can handle themselves when it's name-calling or disagreements. I would be mortified if any BF of mine followed a guy to his car and beat him up for saying something to me. I would probably break up with him, because I'd be frightened that he lost his temper like that. How do I know that I wouldn't say the wrong thing and he would do that to me? We aren't in the mob here. I don't want to be involved in any kind of violence, or anyone who is violent for that matter.

I think you need to chill out for awhile. You've already been to jail? Why would you want to do something stupid and end up right back in there? Your dealing with a girl who is a minor. It's not your job to fix her family problems or give her a place to run away to. You don't need this kind of trouble when you're so young. Just because your family did it, doesn't mean that you have to do it, and it doesn't mean you can't think for yourself and decide for yourself that maybe violence is not the best way.

[oedipussy]

You're complaining about jail? Jail is like being in daycare. Especially considering where you'd go if anyone ever pressed charges on you for statutory rape or battery - prison. That's the place where you have to worry about dropping the soap around your cellmate Bruno...

I have no problems with fighting for good reasons. But you need two willing participants to have a fight. Beating through someone's windshield because he made a comment is not a fight - that's a hideous display of assault and battery if not attempted murder.

Marriage at your ages? Time for a reality check - NO WAY IN HELL... Everything you're thinking about doing right now is a sure-fire way to screw your life up. Get it together.

[demonbuttercup]

I agree w/ Katie on both points!!!!... showing violence like that would be a red flag as to what the guy is capable of. They'll always so.. oh I'd never hit a woman.. but if you could almost beat a guy to death for some name calling..what's next??

[cjb1981]

For the same reason that I'm not going to stand there and watch a man hit a woman, without kicking his ass (or at least trying to.) I'm not going to stand there and watch a guy grab any womans ass, who doesn't want it grabbed by that particular guy. I've been in plenty of fights in my life. But I've never even come close to hitting a woman, not by a long shot. I think that most guys let women get away with saying and doing things that they wouldn't let a man get away with. That being said, I'm not a crazy person, I won't hit a man because of what he says.

[sera300]

Thwarting unasked for harassment is fine to intervene; use you words. If a man grabbed me at a bar or harassed me; I would appreciate a man stepping in to stop him before I kicked the idiot in the balls! Be subtle. If she is clearly uncomfortable and compromised step in...words only unless he escalates it to a fight as a result of your actions...Most women can defend ourselves but like the back up of a gentleman....strength in numbers. If am man grabbed my ass...I would accidentally spill my drink (or his) in his lap...then he has to go to the rest room to clean up. Grab my boobs? You will get a smack in the face and a load voice stating he is inappropriate doing this...I never asked for it and ask for help, loudly. Maybe a kick in the shin, step on his toe (tripping), or a ball kick...depends.

[trip4488]

hey i got loved LOL i no wat u all mean i get the fact she is to young i do i under stand this and i no wat im doin is wrong we havent had sex and as far as our realtionship we r waitin a long time to take any drastic steps like sex marrage ect but thank u DUCY hmmmmm so now that i feel more like a CHOMO lol wats up and as far as law they have no statertory r a p e its just r a p e in ID any way yes i no wat can happen i have a friend all he did was try to marrie her she was 16 he was 20 and he did 10 years in san quiten so i no wats up im just thinking we need to either break up witch is the last thing i want to do and for that bein said im not mean well not to women any way i never had **** growin up where i did i was around women bein beatin i was 13 and watched some guy break my moms nose and 4 ribs w/ his knee i no how and how not to treat women so win somone shows love to me i take it and love them back im a giver and not so much of a taker win u grow up the way i did in and out of biker gangs u show no emotion or feel it will get u killed. so its hard for me to love back and when i do i love with all my heart and i do love her i DO im just afraid of wat to do next. oedipussy you lil
Senior Member if u dont stop so to speak pickin on me we will have words i feard one man only one-as for me im not afraid to fight riden playin growin up with the hells angles and the seven from NY it aint a life i would wish on no man im not threatin you im just sayin basicly if it aint nice keep it to ur self that go's for all yall im not in here to flex nuts im here for info and mabey if need be support
i do thank all of you for your replys thank you all.