10-20-2007, 06:13 PM
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Married Man - Relationship with a...
Ok so here is the story....
I have met a guy couple of years back.. we liked each other etc.. after a few dates he told me he had a wife and a little boy... (at first he said he was single and lived alone) We never done anything by this point other than kiss so i wasnt really so bothered. so anyway he carried on callin me and comin round we also had friends in common and become really cool friends we get on great.. i held my ground and never slept with him even tho he tried so many times.. was weird the fact tht he still come bak even tho ive turned him down so many times. anywho... i moved away didnt see him for a year or kept in touch... moved bak to same town a year later.. he found out I was back.. come to say hello! he was in my flat 4-5 times a week just coming to chill with me.. he cheated on his wife before.. she cheated on him before.. they sorta got over it but he says he wnt leave her for sleeping for someone else as he dont expect her to be just with one person for the rest of her life.. (yea sounds weird to me too!) He really likes me, we get on great, he takes me out, buys me things basically treats me like a princess and its not like hes getting anything return! not even sex! (he's extreamly eager to please me though) hes jus everything I would want in a man. However I have no expectations for him to leave his wife, we never even discusses it! he wouldnt anyway.. and suprisingly enough I dnt really care... The problem here is that I really do not want to be the other woman! I have been mistreated by men quiet a lot so someone being so nice to me is a great change! Him being so great to me and the fact tht we get on well and i do fancy him is just tempting me to take it further.... I know steering well clear is the best option.. cos it will end up in tears or just some random sexy fun with this guy will be a giggle? wht do u guys think? sorry for the essay 
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10-20-2007, 07:00 PM
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If you do not want to be the other woman, consider that if he is stepping outside his marriage, he will most likely do the same thing to you.
If he is so nice to you, consider what he is doing to his wife and marriage. Add these two together and you have a potential for monkey see, monkey do (to you) in the future. If he is spending quality time with you, imagine how he is treating his wife. If you want real quality, find a man who can devote his all to you and the relationship. Why are you willing to settle for less rather than go out and get a quality hunk of man? > I have no expectations for him to leave his wife, we never even discusses it! he wouldnt anyway.. and suprisingly enough I dnt really care. I guess that answers that. > he takes me out, buys me things basically treats me like a princess and its not like hes getting anything return! Imagine what you could reap if he didn't have to divide his income.
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Life without dancing? I don't think so...... The feet may learn the steps; yet only the spirit can dance! Dancing is the fastest way to get a girl alone and into your arms in public. The Tango smolders and burns. It ignites the heart, the soul, and yes, the libido. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to Dance in the Rain! Dance as if nobody is watching.
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10-21-2007, 06:32 AM
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You are the other woman...as Brandye stated. First & the trigger to me is he lied to you stating her was single. Sorry, I would have tossed him just for that one. The rest? Treating you nice? Look how he treats her and his child, expect the same from him to you all in due time. Hanging out w/you that frequently yet leaves his little boy? He sounds damned irresponsible as a dad. Care for a child and you will see what I mean. Being a single parent is not fun which is how he has left it w/her.
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Our backgrounds & circumstances may influence who we are but we are responsible for who we become. 
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10-21-2007, 03:51 PM
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As a female I have been there and they say what you want to hear and I figure it out that if you are single and they get you so into to them then they know you will never date or try to find anyone and they have you and the wife. So he's playing this game and by him buying you stuff I wouldn't even let him do that because in the end you will be the homewrecker even if you said you haven't slept with him. In my situation I knew his kids because they work sometimes with him and I really liked them and they respect me to the highest and never thought about us doing anything but when I had to look at those kids and knowing that if they ever found out I was a little of problems between mom and dad(remember kids want their parents to stay together no matter what) then it would hurt. You have to have a conscience to do or not to do.Don't play his game okay because you will look very bad to everyone.
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10-21-2007, 06:22 PM
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Much as just said; point being is where is his emotional attachment strongest? Apparently not at his home since he is not concerned about his child...Always a nice name to be placed on someones divorce papers "Upon information or Belief X was engaging in an extramarital affair with Y". How would you feel when the child finds the papers in the future???
__________________
Our backgrounds & circumstances may influence who we are but we are responsible for who we become.
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10-22-2007, 05:47 PM
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The thing is this whole story comes across as he doesnt care for his child or his wife. He actually does very much so... he just likes to have his little bit of fun on the side.. and before everyone attackes me! I am not defending his case AT ALL! just tryin to give u the clear picture of whts going on. He says he wont leave his wife for anything even if she cheated on him.. they have a weird understanding like that.
oh as well.. I dnt want to be with this guy, cos i dnt have strong emotional feelings for him at all. Is just lust if im honest. so i dnt want him to leave his wife or anything like tht.. so its not the matter of him doing the same thing to me as he's doing to his wife... anyway.. i guess its jus one of those situations where you have to be in to understand
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10-22-2007, 06:40 PM
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Quote:
I highly doubt my then husband and his young lady friend did not anticipate having her name in the middle of a divorce paper much less did she appreciate HIM dragging her into court under a subpoena. I doubt she liked the photos of them together obtained through a private investigator I hired. Angry w/her? No. Him? He should never have called me a "stupid bitch" which could not prove a thing. It was between he & I and he put her in the middle...I did not. I KNOW she learned the difficult way & is now married to a nice man with a nice life (not my ex). Be the Princess and find a new toy if that is what you want or some good dating material who is single and available if you wish to later form a relationship. I write very sterile...and it comes across as being cold. Trust, I have hung around here enough, many are hoping to shed some insight for you...to prevent long term issues you may have not wanted nor been aware of.
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Our backgrounds & circumstances may influence who we are but we are responsible for who we become.
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10-22-2007, 06:43 PM
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Every woman who has unknowingly responded to being hit on by a married man who lied has been in your situation.
We are just trying to give "a clear picture of what is going on!"
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Brandye Don't wear cheap bras!
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10-23-2007, 07:53 AM
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Now then - what he's doing is in no way wierd. Men compartmentalize. Sex is just sex but love/marriage is another thing entirely. You would come under the heading of sex.
Whether he'd leave his wife if she were to "cheat" on him is beside the point. For all you know, they swing. But that also remains none of your business. The issue is: What life do you want to have? I'd suggest getting on with living that life.
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