10-14-2007, 11:40 AM
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new guy with benefits? input needed
I am in the processof divorce. A guy at work, quite a cutie, and I have struck up a frienship over the past few months. just casual. but i have always been super attracted to him. he has a gf but isnt really into her like that due to some problems in the relationship. his gf was a rebound girl. we are both 37 years old. i am not looking to be with anyone serious after being married and ending it after 13 years. i have wanted to have sex with him because he is so hot and desirable and also because i want to see what it is like to be with someone else after all these years. is this a bad idea? we both know it wont be more than friends because i just cant deal with relationships right now. i just need a release. i like him as a friend, we have lots to talk about and he is discreet. i suggested the idea of going off in a few weeks to a nice hotel and see what happens. i am nervous. for one, i am now 40 pounds overweight (I am 5' 4") and feel cself conscious. he always flirts with me and compliments me. he is not overweight and he is nicely built. is he going to freak out when he sees my rolls? we have kissed and grinded with our clothes on already. any tips or suggestions to ease my mind would be appreciated.
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10-14-2007, 12:22 PM
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Well...hes still with his gf? In my honest opinion, wait till they are officially over, because nothing sucks than finding out your SO was cheating on you for the last few weeks of your relationship...believe me I know...
As far as easing your mind, you could always start exercising, go for a jog every monrning, walk on a treadmill or ride a bike.....aeorobic exercises cause your body to release endorphins. These make you feel happy, and after a while, youll feel better and better about yourself since you know your getting in shape, plus...with the stress of divorce and just life in general, it will help you to relax. Last edited by Ducy; 10-14-2007 at 12:28 PM..
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10-14-2007, 03:48 PM
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" guy at work..." Time to move the other way. Office affairs usually have terrible ends. Take the break and use the time to get rim.
__________________
Brandye Don't wear cheap bras!
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10-15-2007, 03:27 PM
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Well, this guy is a friend of mine...we have been pretty close, we talk regularly on the phone about many things besides me wanting to bed him. i guess i want to have a new experience, i feel he wont talk to others about it and we do have a friendship that I hope wont change because of one night.
He is down for it, and we have talked at length of all the details and such. I dont want a relationship right now.
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10-15-2007, 07:55 PM
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Quote:
Now, about your body... Unless you wear a girdle or something, I doubt that any rolls you have are going to come to him as any huge surprise. Even if they do, if there is chemistry between the two of you, those probably won't be the things to scare him off.
__________________
It's business as usual in the apocalypse, and business is good.
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10-15-2007, 07:58 PM
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You work together, he is attached, you are still married; this is a mix for disaster. Keep it professional & friendly end of story.
__________________
Our backgrounds & circumstances may influence who we are but we are responsible for who we become. 
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10-15-2007, 09:10 PM
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Girl, you need to get out more! Specifically get thee to a gym! And then check out your local swing club or other gathering of fun-loving and generous adults.
This guy is pure rebound and it will end badly - guaranteed. Everyone else at work already knows about you two - offices are a hot bed of gossip. The reason why I said Swing club is because there you will find people near your own age who are discreet, understanding of your situation, and who will most likely care more about your personality than your waistline. I am speaking from experience here.
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10-15-2007, 09:20 PM
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As one prominent on-air radio personality warns: "Don't fish from the company pier."
__________________
It's business as usual in the apocalypse, and business is good.
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10-18-2007, 07:12 PM
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Well, at this point, no one knows. No one knows about my marriage breaking up. To the outside, i am in a happy marriage. My coworker knows the truth and he hasn't said a thing.
I am working on losing weight and have started the gym. Thanks for the advice. I guess I am nervous with a new person and all. He is not serious about his gf. They were living together but decided to not live togehter anymore. I dont need a relationship yet. I do want to see what else is out there.
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10-18-2007, 08:08 PM
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Just work on getting yourself where you wish to be physically & emotionally and see what is out there. Unhappy marriage which cannot be worked out? But be certain of that and then end it.
__________________
Our backgrounds & circumstances may influence who we are but we are responsible for who we become.
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