Breakup help and advice

[Korkov]

Ok well I broke up with the girl I was seeing and came to regret it so I called her back and explained myself and why I broke up with her and so She told me that shes unsure of what she wants to do at this point she said she wants to be with me but is now unsure about that. She said theres a lot she wants to think about and how to word them before saying more then she already has.
She has told me In most cases she herself has some trust issues with people and that when someone breaks her trust theres no coming back and that she won't see them anymore, and has told me that with me thats not what she wants to do but like I said ealier she seems unsure now of which path to take, coming back to me or taking the boot I gave her.

Once again its been a real short amount of time since this all went down. I broke up with her called her like 4-5 days later talked on the phone for a day then met up with her explained myself then have seen each other at least for a little bit daily since, and since I stil haven't gotten a 100% response from her on were things are at and or heading and at the moment Im a bit confused on how to proceed.


So my question is what can I do to help mend what has happened between us and help improve my chances of making her want to come back to me.

Second what should I do along the lines of what not to do at this point in time.



But to further explain things, I'll go a bit more into detail.

Things with me and her were acually going quite well we wern't anything offical yet we were sleeping together and seeing each other daily. And a lot of the thoughts that i'm going to list have croped up before but I feel as if I was doing a good job and keeping them in check. But last week she called me and said she wants to keep things were they were at. Partly I understand why she would say that, since her track record of past boyfriends havn't been well. But what I felt she really ment to say was hey I like you but not that much.

My reasons for why I broke up with her are the following.

I felt as if I couldn't trust her. At first that never bothered me because we wern't offically boyfriend girlfriend, but as she began to confess stronger feelings for me and I began to feel the same it then began to bother me. Partly why I felt like this was because she does have a large base of guy friends she likes to hang around. And as the two of us have jokingly said has a few stalkers or wipped ass guys. And at first I was more then willing to point the finger at the guy for being like that but later I came to think and feel what was it she was doing to make them get like that. So then I began to wonder if she was leading them on and hell I even began to wonder if she was leading me on as well. And since we have not been officaly boyfriend girlfriend I always felt it wasn't my place to ask her about it.

[sera300]

This is such a mess, you are both in different places. Back off her and date others. Play the field as they say. Why an exclusive relationship w/her? Thinking of marrying her?

[Korkov]

Well I guess in regards to be exclusive I do feel If we are to openly date others it should be voiced and I Don't have a problem with that, but whenever she'd talked about not seeing anyone else I felt that she wasn't being honest. And thats was got me I guess.

[HardNgood]

Originally Posted by Korkov

Well I guess in regards to be exclusive I do feel If we are to openly date others it should be voiced and I Don't have a problem with that, but whenever she'd talked about not seeing anyone else I felt that she wasn't being honest. And thats was got me I guess.

From your original post, I don't think you could handle her dating anyone else even if you were dating someone else, you would be too worried about who's shagging her most recently

[sera300]

You lack trust between the two of you...date others.

[Korkov]

Anyone else's views on what should be done!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Korkov - you're a jerk! How would you feel if she dumped you for having a lot of women friends some of whom showed more interest than your girlfriend thought seemly? Would she have thought "he's leading them on?" Would she have thought "I cannot trust him when he says he's been faithful."? Most likely not. But you, in your insecurity and jealous possessiveness did think precisely that and so you dumped a lady who did not deserve it.

This lady deserves better than you.
Let her alone so she can go and find him.

[machine_rat]

It used to be that I too had difficulty seeing how my girlfriend could be 'just friends' with a number of guys. When I'd see her laugh with them or even wrestle around, I used to get jealous.

That was before the time that I had a number of girls around me that were nothing more than friends. I learned that I could harmlessly joke around with or have some form of playful contact, and it wouldn't mean anything.

[Korkov]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Korkov - you're a jerk! How would you feel if she dumped you for having a lot of women friends some of whom showed more interest than your girlfriend thought seemly? Would she have thought "he's leading them on?" Would she have thought "I cannot trust him when he says he's been faithful."? Most likely not. But you, in your insecurity and jealous possessiveness did think precisely that and so you dumped a lady who did not deserve it.

This lady deserves better than you.
Let her alone so she can go and find him.

Kinda thats why i'm here for some words of advice, maybe a wee bit more friendly but understandable none the less,

But I do hear ya EEK,

I do see it was me just being a turd that led me to do the dick move I did. Thats why Now me the one who started this whole trust issue would like to try and do what it takes to rebuild her trust in me, so she won't have to worry about things like that. once again why im here in these forms to put my insecurity to rest and better educate myself in anyway possible to better myself for this girl or the next one that comes along.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Sometimes you need to hear the unvarnished truth, buddy. That's my job. The others do the nice thing.

There is no one else like you on the entire planet. You are one and unique. So there is no real reason to be jealous or insecure. You are who and what you are. Accept it and move forward.