Update to last post. Is he gay?

[delilahduck]

So another circumstance has come to mind, as to why he doesn't cum. I have never thought about it this way before.

I know he has had a relationship with another guy, at a much younger age. No one else knows this. He won't talk about it much, but in being honest he has told me details, but swears he is not gay.

All my friends, and his friends, always take the mick about how he is gay, infact I had one of his friends ask if I was an escort once!!

They do this because, he is a little camp, walks a little odd, girley if you like, and he does things like waxes his bodily hair, which I think is normal (back sack and crack they call it). And because he is very emotional.

So, perhaps..? :S

I really hope not, I mean I've only ever seen it as an experiment, cuz he was quite young.

Erm, thoughts on that possibility please???

[sera300]

Perhaps he is bi? And has not had time to explore his sexuality? I think maybe he is the best one to tell you...

[delilahduck]

I've made him talk about that part of his past before, he just got upset, i think he even went off and cried.. I mean I'm open to himbeing bisexual. I have no problem with it. And I have made that clear. I just hope that isn't the real reason he doesn't cum?

[Brandye]

Only he knows and there is no input we can make.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by delilahduck

I've made him talk about that part of his past before, he just got upset, i think he even went off and cried.. I mean I'm open to himbeing bisexual. I have no problem with it. And I have made that clear. I just hope that isn't the real reason he doesn't cum?

He has to want to find the answer out. First rule out a medical reason then psychological reason.

I know many explain men experiment early on, but I only know of one who told me this...my first ex-husband and he told me after we were married & he wanted to resume the relationship with his bf. The main issue was his emotional tie was stronger to the bf and not to me as his wife.

I think I have turned up every unusual encounter out there in a mere 42 years...

[sera300]

Thinking about it...both of your posts; I see you trying to fix the relationship. Searching for answers. Try to back off him and let him figure himself out. Your getting into a bad cycle; talking & questioning resulting in his crying. People cry for many reasons other then just hurt; such as frustration or depression. He has to want you to help; he has to elicit you as a friend to help figure it out. However, as long as he marches on as if life is well, & you need to perform better there is much denial on his behalf. I see you, a woman, with a just want to "fix" it approach, stop trying to nurture him as much. Step back & be more of a friend right now.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Did you never think of abuse?
Let him have room to breathe.
You cannot fix this. You can only encourage, quietly by being there to listen, him to fix this himself.

Just be his friend for right now.

[Hotaro]

Yes he may be gay, or he might just have other issues. But let's examine the evidence: walks "girly," waxes hair including his "crack", cries when asked why he cannot orgasm with a woman, all your friends think he is gay, I think this is an open and shut case frankly. Okkums razor.

[delilahduck]

I know abuse is not a factor thank you. I have known him many years, but we have only just started our relationship. How do I know there isn't abuse, because we had one night where we told each other everything. In this time I told him about my experiences with abuse. And the worst thing he had to tell me was his gay experience/relationship. If there was any opportunity to open up, it was then, we learnt alot about each other.

[delilahduck]

Open and shut you say? Then what to I do? :/