New relationship with best friend of 5 years. Need a little advice on our sex life!!!

[delilahduck]

We're both 20, been in 'lust' for many years, of you like. But we're finally making ago at it.

Now our first time, he finished before we got started pretty much. But Like I didn't mind too much.

After that, it was good sex, but we have had alot of.. not so good sex too.

He has no foreskin, I actually love this fact about it, much better for blow jobs, but he said he thinks he finds it harder to cum than most, he has some 'trail of thought' and it it breaks he loses his erection and doesn't get it back for a while...

Now, let me explain that, we can have sex, and he'd cum and want to do it again within 5 minutes and we do.

But sometimes, he will lose his erection during sex either from preventing himself from pre ejectulation or just for no reason at all... and he'll embarrassingly try and get it back up for the next 10 minutes... and I just want to stop but I don't want to put him down if you know what I mean?

Just lately we started discussing this, and he has said he needs to do things differently all the time, basically be excited constantly with different sex all the time, so I was like well okay... He had the cheek to say I don't put enough effort into looknig good too! Which has annoyed me, because most times he turns up unannounced to my house! And so sometimes I haven't shaved because I am unaware!!

But the advice I was is one, how can I improve this?? (The erection loss)

And two, sex outside, I mean what do us women wear in the winter that is easy to remove, because skirts are just too cold!!

[Brandye]

You cannot fix it. If he wants help he can seek medical advice. Do not allow him to shift his "problem" onto you.

[delilahduck]

So there is nothing I can do? I'm just feeling a little useless, I was insecure before, but now... I mean I feel like I'm the reason he flops, that I'm not good enough.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by delilahduck

So there is nothing I can do? I'm just feeling a little useless, I was insecure before, but now... I mean I feel like I'm the reason he flops, that I'm not good enough.

It has nothing to do with you. Be confident in yourself.

[delilahduck]

Yes, it's all good in saying that, but when your boyfriend doesn't cum, or just flops half way through sex it makes you feel a little down.

I mean sometimes we'll have amazing sex. But it seems lately it's just getting worse. Like he may be bored of me already.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by delilahduck

Yes, it's all good in saying that, but when your boyfriend doesn't cum, or just flops half way through sex it makes you feel a little down.

I mean sometimes we'll have amazing sex. But it seems lately it's just getting worse. Like he may be bored of me already.

Be there. Felt as if I did something wrong or not correct. Then, I figured it was his issue & if he did not want to see the doc., why would I be upset or concerned? If I had a loss of libido (which I did) my first pitstop was the gyn...I insisted there was something wrong with me, guess what? There was, I fixed my problem w/my docs help. We all are responsible for our "sexual health".

[delilahduck]

How do I go about asking him to go to the doctors, because I have tried that before with a different problem of this. And he just wouldn't go.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by delilahduck

How do I go about asking him to go to the doctors, because I have tried that before with a different problem of this. And he just wouldn't go.

You just tell him he shold se the doctor, if he refuses then you cannot force it. The sad fact is; if he has a problem they are fixable. The guy I spoke of, I gave up on. If he did not care to see the doc about his lack of erection or orgasm, why should I harp on it? And why should I continue on with the frustrations of trying to make him work? I remember one night 1 hour & 15 minutes of giving him head...my mouth was sore. Nothing worked. This had been an issue w/ all past women as well, yet he wold not see the doc. Similarly he had high Blood Pressure, he'd rather take the meds then control his diet. It showed me he was lazy. I was not. You can lead him but cannot force it. Be supportive for hime to seek assistance, offer to go if he likes, but the decision will be his...

[delilahduck]

I guess I could try that, thank you =]

[sera300]

Originally Posted by delilahduck

I guess I could try that, thank you =]

Welcome. Look at it this way, like dealing with an alcoholic, you cannot force them to see they have a problem. You can back away b/c of their behavior and hope they see it and the impact. If he is not ready to see he has a issue, you canno force it just be supportive of him seeing the doc. But by trying to fix it by prettying yourself up to suit him you are enabling his behavior. Since I promise that will fail in time as well. Good luck and be easy on yourself!