How to get her to go down

[snowman]

I have been with my girl for 4 months now although oral sex is non-existent that is all that occurs before actual sex is the use of hands on each other. Well yesterday i decided to change them ways and i went down on my partner which she loves. I have to say apart from pleasuring her which was my intention i also thought if i initiated it that maybe it may help trigger her to do so. This did not happen but i guess it may do in the future but i think due to her being less experienced she may feel a little nervous/scared about doing so or of course it may well be that she just does not like it. I was wondering what would be best thing to do to try work around this i mean i dont want to come acrosss pushy and forceful with the issue but at the same time i would hopefully like to gently imply my feelings regarding the matter..

[dancingdoc2]

> i guess it may do in the future but i think due to her being less experienced she may feel a little nervous/scared about doing so or of course it may well be that she just does not like it. I was wondering what would be best thing to do to try work around this i mean i dont want to come acrosss pushy and forceful with the issue but at the same time i would hopefully like to gently imply my feelings regarding the matter.

Talk to her.

Do so at a time with the two of you are not planning to become intimate and structure the conversation in a positive way. Communication is the cornerstone of a successful relationship. Explain to her about your desires for the two of you and the concerns you have. Ask her what her thoughts are on making out, foreplay, and intercourse.

You may be correct in assessing that she is inhibited. You may be moving too quickly for her so while she might want to participate and reciprocate, it is a degree of intimacy that she has not yet worked up to yet. All any of us can do is guess; by asking her, you will get relevant information on what approach to take next.

Please read through the Index beginning with this article:

Am I Ready For Sex?

[demonbuttercup]

I was very hesistant and nervous to go down on my boyfriend...and it took me awhile even though he was not pressuring me and very encouraging. Plus, his penis was intimidating... not huge.. but not small either, lol. Like 7 inches.
Basically I didn't want to b/c I didn't know how to and I was either scared I would hurt him or totally do it wrong and be embarrassed.

He was like don't worry... I'll enjoy anything you do down there LOL...and I slowly worked my way from handjobs w/ just a little bit of oral on the head of the penis... to more oral... it just takes time and patience!

[Ducy]

Like Doc and buttercup said...kinda...talk about it, be encouraging and dont force it...

If your as uncomfy as i was when i tried to bring it up, do what i do...(usually I am just straight forward with her, but it was like by random coincidence)
I brought up this topic while talking to my girlfrieend on the phone, i was giving her this survey from myspace lol and one of the questions was would you perform oral sex on me....well i skipped it (a bit uncomfy obviously) but she wanted to know...well when i asked her, it was as if it set her in motion, because we started talking more and more about it and eventually she was ready for it...it got to the point that she wanted to so badly, that she literally pushed me on the couch the next time i went to her house. (it was a case of Hi! and bang onto the couch we went)

[snowman]

Many Thanks for the responses!!

I totally agree and am in accordance with the fact that communication is the key in developing a successful relationship on all fronts. It's just i guess i m not quite sure how to approach bringing this up with her with her 1. not thinking that i am coming of as pushy or the attitude of ' i gave you oral pleasure now i want you to reciprocate'

demon- thanks for that i totally understand that it does take time and that she may be v.unexperienced and need support and conforting etc but how would you say is a good way of bringing this all up without coming across pushy etc

[delilahduck]

Answer is simple, talk to her. I mean, speaking from experience here, my first time I was scared. The second time, with a different partner 5 years later, I was even more nervous, especially cuz my first had foreskin and my second didn't!! You just need to make subtle hints that you would like her to go down on you, and if she hasn't done it before, the only way of going about it is asking her if she would ever try it.

[Ephemera]

Subtle, really?

Maybe I'm just lucky, and I have a really open sexual relationship with my SO, but if I want something sexually and we're in the moment I'll usually just say it.

Tell her that oral is something you want, that you'd DIE to have her go down on you.

[eminatic]

i was nervous to go down on my guy only because it was my first time ever doing it, and i didn't want to dissapoint him. he was very re-assuring, while at the same time giving me pointers, and now its one of my favorite things to do

[oedipussy]

TALK about it with her? Damn, I must be really lucky - I've never had to ask for anything. I always thought that it was pretty much implied that I wanted a girl to go down on me...

[HOTFIRE]

One thing you could try is to go down on her in a different position. Like 69 on your sides. lay next to her and eat her out. If she is comfortable giving you oral, she will return the favor. If not, she has nothing to complain about because she can lay there and enjoy what you are doing.