What is she really thinking??

[JOshua]

Hello,
There's a friend of mine (who's been my friend for the last 15 years) who I haven't seen in 5 years, we talk over the phone lots,
She was saying how frustrating it was that her husband never helps out around the house.
I said: "Look I don't care if you put me to work, I just want to see you"
She said yes and we setup a date and time.
Her husband doesn't know anything about this.
She's been married for 5 years and has 3 kids.
(he's the kind of guy who always assume's that she's cheating)
I have listened to her tell me about how unhappy she is about her husband.
What I'm wondering is this: When I meet her for dinner, what should I expect?

Thanks
--Joshua

[sera300]

What to expect? Maybe someone who wishes to vent or someone who is looking for some extramarital activity. And a really "pissed off" husband when he figures it out who may take it out on either her or you.

[EvilEvilKitten]

This is a "no win" situation. STAY AWAY. A jealous husband is no laughing matter! If you are a true friend, you'll counsel her to deal more effectively with him or to leave him - taking her kids with her. Having mindless interludes with other men is simply avoiding the central issue/problem. Stop enabling her!

[dancingdoc2]

Yup, if she meets you then she gives validity to her husband's "assumptions" And, you know the old joke about that word don't you? To "assume" is to make an Ass out of u and me.

How would you feel if the tables were turned? You want to meet her why? If for old time's sake, he should be invited, also. If for new time's sake, then you are not doing her any long time favors. If you were reading this post and wanted to reply, what would you tell the poster?

[JOshua]

Honestly we're meeting for old times sake, nothing will happen, She doesn't want anything to happen and neither do I.
I just want to see an old friend.

[dancingdoc2]

No problema, although, I do believe the husband should be invited.

[Caitlain]

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

No problema, although, I do believe the husband should be invited.

I have to agree with the good doc on this. Otherwise, if he finds out, it will just lend credibility to his assumptions, and he'll *never* trust her again.

I do know that it will be awkward with him there, but you need to not be selfish and think of her life and what might happen to it if he were to find out.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Then let it be lunch at MacDonalds and include hubby!

[JOshua]

Actually we still haven't met, she said her kids would be there. I'm not calling her too much. I do kindof want to keep my distance.
I'll be surprised if their marriage lasts another 3 months.
For my own reasons I'm keeping my distance. And your words did not fall on deaf ears.
Thank you

[machine_rat]

With or without her husband present at you meeting, it could be a lose-lose situation either way.

It's true that for hubby's sake he should be invited along to allay his paranoia of her infidelity.

But on the other hand, he could grow impatient and irritable as the third wheel. The two of you will probably recount the old days, laugh it up over funny memories, and there the husband will be unable to relate because he was never there. If he is a bad guy, then this time spent not as the center of her attention could further fuel his inadiquacies.