former friend has me down and out....need advice please...

[weewee119]

Ok, this is a real long story, I will try to simplify it a bit, Right now im really feeling down and out, i feel like i let go off the best girl i was ever gonna find for me in this world...also, i am kind of protective of her, i worry about her a lot because of some of the people she hangs out with . I also feel weird doing this, ive been pretty succesful with the ladies the past few years, definetely more succesful than most of my friends..
A little over 3 years ago I became friends with this girl I thought was wonderful, I felt off the bat we had some odd connection even though we were complete opposites. I was hooking up with someone else at the time, by the time I had broken things off with the other person, me and the girl i speak off became pretty close, id like to say we were almost best friends. people always were under the impression that we were an item though, we were always smiling, never argued, people always made comments about how cute we looked... I always felt I had a very different relationship with her than my other chick friends. but i held back because i was just about to go away to school. anyway I went away to college, and things got hard. she went back with an ex boyfriend. and when she told me that on line it she didnt sound happy about it. something along the lines "yea well im kinda back with mike so........" and after a while or friendship went bad after some things i shouldnt have said. we met up again about 6-7 months later, and after a long heart to heart patched things up, but things were still awkward, a couple more fights, and we didnt talk for a long time. she broke up with that boyfriend after about 2 years. i realized the ******* i had been and sent her flowers with a letter saying i had feelings for her (i think im in love) she sent me a message a couple days later saying they were beautiful and we would talk soon. so I ran into her , and she told me to come to a party she was having, anyway, at the party we got in an arguement I dont remember. Supposedly me saying things about bad things about her friends, people that aren't exactly stand up individuals, to say the least, So I told her I was sorry, it was because im jealous and just concerned about her, i asked her out 2 a bite to eat. she didnt respond, i told her just yes or no, its not a big deal if its no, still no response. Anyway we ran into each other at a bar, and I remember nothing about this. and my friends were no help on what had happened either. So I pretty much assumed it defintely wasn't good whatever had happened. so after that, I pretty much for a couple months tried to forget about her, attwempted no contact for a couple months, until I heard she was seeing another guy, I dropped her a really thoughtful message on how I felt,, but i got no resonse, its been a while since, I saw her recently, she had the biggest ear to ear smile on her face when she saw me, i ignored her pretty much, it seemed like she was following me around, approaching me looking for conversation, I was really ticked, whats with all these games...Its not supposed to be this way, If she doesnt like me why does she bother playing games with me?

[Ducy]

yes and no....i used to like my best friend and people thought we were a couple too....she probably doesnt know what exactly she wants, and the fact that she was trying to start up a convo was a good thing.....but the fact that she "plays games" is simply because she likes the attention. try talking to her and if things keep going south then its not meant to be.

[cjb1981]

That's a bad situation. First off, it sounds like nether of you are ready for any kind of actual relationship, too many mind games being played back and forth. You also seem like the jealous type, you have no reason to protect her from her other friends. Also, if you don't like her friends to the point that you two get in fights over them, it wouldn't work anyways. I mean, what would you do if you did start up a relationship, tell her that she couldn't be friends with them anymore? It sounds like that's what you want to do. Also, the types of people that we are friends with, says a lot about who we are. We build people up in our minds, maybe you're only seeing what you want to see out of her. Unless both of you are ready to make some serious changes, I think that you should forget about her.

[sera300]

Stop fighting/arguing with her. This may be part of the reason she blew you off. And stop dumping your heartfelt feelings out to her; it makes women run especially when they are unsure of the "wanting" of a relationship.

What to do? Apologize for being a jerk (your actions) and walk away. Let the ball fall in her court to see you again. Leave it open ended.

Realize there are major games between you and she as far as your interactions!

[Ephemera]

First it sounds like you need to get control over the drinking situation.

Two nights with her that you don't remember??

[weewee119]

the drinking really isnt a problem, that was probably the only two times in the lasdt year i dont blacked out and didn't remember much of the night, terrible timing huh

[dancingdoc2]

Ducy and CJB have offered good insight and recommendations. Here's mine:

Instead of trying to place all your eggs into one basket, why not date several women for the time being with the purpose being to learn what humanity has to offer you. The more people you are exposed to the more you learn about what you want in a partner and the better able you will be to find Ms. Right when the time comes. Include this person or not as you wish, just do not try to establish any exclusive relationships with any one individual for a year or so.

[weewee119]

ive been exposed to a whole lot of girls in my life...shes the one that gets me though...

[noodle209]

**** i've been going through a break up myself and i'm still not over her, to tell you the truth i'll never be over her, but like my friend said, and his mother told him, how many cars pass you by every day? a lot right? remember your dream car is out there but you'll never know unless you pull over and get out of your old car, and try the new one, until you found your dream car.