Closet Cougar really wants to come out

[Over40andSexy]

The truth is...there is nothing more sexually thrilling for me than to seduce and have sex with a hot twenty-something young man. It is a side of me that only a few close friends are aware of. I have been able to keep these feelings at bay for the last 6 years because I was self-employed and didn't have time for any social life...but that has changed.

The problem is...I have not had sex in 6 years and I really want to have FWB relationships with younger men again but I am afraid to initiate anything for fear of others (my family, co-workers) finding out. Please don't say that what 2 consenting adults do in private is nobody's business...that doesn't really apply to people who live in a small town where everything is everybody's business.

I would really like to hear how people feel about older women and younger men having a FWB relationship.

[sera300]

Since you live in a small town & are concerned what people will think; then I guess it's not for you. I cannot see people really caring that much about what you do in your personal life.

Met a really nice guy on vac, from another country he was nearly half my age. He hit on me, he was hot but something just felt really, really wrong (to me only)with doing anything other then hanging out.

[sad_dreamer]

My partner is 11 years older and it works fine, her best friend's dad was a bit annoying but it stopped quickly. Its your choice, screw what other people think is my advice. Go get yourself some fun!

[Over40andSexy]

It's more a case of "What will people think"?, which is why I am posing the question.

So it is: 1 yah 1 nay

[sera300]

Okay his partner is 11 years his senior. It's sort of like when as a woman you see these guys, they are hot, but you realize you are old enough to be their mother!!!

[sad_dreamer]

It seems you need to work your priorities out, which I'm afraid no one can do for you really. Wether what people think of you affects your life more than going with your desires.
The former may have repercussions, i.e. people will say you've got toyboys, will it affect the bounds you have with your friends? Will there be consequences in the work place? How will your familly take it?

Its up to you to decide wether these questions are valid to you and what the answers are and to weigh them against what pursuing one of those relationships (wether purely sexual or not) will bring you : possibly some good fun, reduce your stress level, its also likely it will bring you self confidence "wow I can get a young stud in my bed", which is possibly a nice feeling. I suppose you could also get of the feeling of doing something naughty, which can make the relationship more exciting.

Moreover, you might just find a very suitable young man with whom you wish to build something. I don't know...

[Over40andSexy]

You're right...the decision is my own. I am just trying to get a sense of what all the fuss is about regarding older woman with younger men.

I have had several FWB relationships with younger men in the past and the sex was incredible. For me, it's all about the sex. Isn't that the whole point of an FWB relationship?

It really has nothing to do with ego or taboo, at least in my case anyway. Younger men are by virtue of their age, less experienced sexually and are more appreciative and responsive to an experienced woman who is willing to take the time to show them the way.

It is mutually beneficial: we both have great sex and they become better lovers in the process.

[sera300]

You have to be comfortable with it & said your reluctance was the small town & being an employer. You will find really the only ones which look at you odd are women! It's socially acceptable for a man to "date" a woman half his age but for some odd reason it raises eyebrows for a woman to "date" a man half her age.

Why do you concern yourself with everyone around? If it's what you wish to do, go for it as long as you are honest about the relationship & prospective ages. Myself, personally, found this guy hot & sweet. The hardest part of "no" for me was he thought I was 31-32 not 41! I felt odd b/c he hit on me thinking I was younger & I did not have to be truthful since I would never see him again after that week.

FWB is more then just sex--it entails a friendship; otherwise, it's a bootie call. I have a "friend" who is about five years younger than I. A LTR? Never, b/c we want different things from life and have been friends for about 8 years. The crux of the relationship is the sex but it's also a friendship.

You could have a pool boy! Honestly, do you really care what people around you think? I think much depends on how small of a town & how close your neighbors are. Just be certain you find a man you can trust to keep quiet. Be friends...and I do think some is contingent upon how young.

[Browser]

I only date up... I don't care what other people do, as long as it doesn't affect me (or someone I'm close to) in a negative way. I expect, in turn, that the general populace of the world ignore most of what I do.

[curious_woman]

This is simple in my opinion, just go bar hopping at a nearby town and get a FWB there! That way nobody will know, and you can have all the hot sex with a new piece of meat whenever you like!

I don't condone cougars for the record, unless they are especially stereotypical *cringes* PLEASE tell me you don't wear leopard prints and bright red lipstick?!

EDIT: I'm rather curious who took away a rep point for this post with the comment "naughty" it makes no sense. I don't see what I said wrong.