He still wants her - what to do? In need of some Advise

[xkatex]

Well its started out I met this guy I knew back in elementary. To cut to the main parts of this post, We started hanging out. He was having a rough time with his ex and constantly told me how much she pisses him off. We had amazing times when we hung out. Kissed quite abit and just generally (from my point of veiw) fell head over heels for eachother.He broke up with his girlfriend and a few nights later he asked me out...I obviously said yes. Also that night we ended up having sex. Bad idea yes no? At the time it was fine by me. After he dropped me off he promised to call the next day....he never did. Then the next day I got a hold of him and basically he told me his ex wants him back and that hes really confused. I had a feeling that this was going to happen and yes I cried myself to sleep that night.

Then today he called me and basically told me he was going back with his ex and how bad he felt and how sorry he was...you know the drill right. Yes I was bawling my eyes out on the phone even though I tried not to. But then i found out that his ex has no idea he was with me and he begged me not to say anything to her. Outta respect for him I dont believe I should but I dont know if it would be the right thing to do if I told her. #1 It would piss him off #2 It would piss her off #3 No one will get anything out of it. Should I say anything?

Also he tells me he really loves hanging out with me and that im "an amazing girl" and that hes "not that special" Throughout most of this convo he seemed sincere and he told me if I ever wanna talk to him i can call him or txt him and he said we "definately have to hang out still"

I asked him why he asked me out if he still has feelings for his ex and he said that he had none until he found out she had them for him :S weird I know. And he told me hes still inlove with her which broke my heart to hear.

The worst part I think of this whole convo was that he said that his ex came to his house crying, asking for him back and pouring her heart out. Yet I was there on the phone bawling my eyes out wondering why he didnt want me. It hurts yes, this is like the 3rd Deja Vu.

Anyways I guess my point is what would be the best thing for me to do. Should I continue to be friends with him? Like should I still hang out with him or should I just pretend we are just aquaintances. Also should I mention anything to his gf? I dont really think I should I just want to hear what everyone thinks of this situation because Im not thinking too straight at this moment. (been crying all day...and last night....havent eaten in 2 days...except popsicles...you know) So ya can anyone help me with words of wisdom....words of comfort....anything?

[dancingdoc2]

This is a first. Let's title this the SexInfo Soap Opera.

Do you really have to ask us what to do? Perhaps so, as this is the stuff of operas.

[xkatex]

Actually ya I really need to know what to do. Like yes I know the simple thing is to "forget it" but its easier said then done. And to me it feel alot more complex then that. I dont mean to sound ignorant I would just really like someone to laydown a game plan.

[Suki2007]

I think you said it best yourself. You need to drop kick him. Don't let some lame ******* tell you he's in love with you, have sex with you, then say, "oops, I changed my mind." Of course you feel it is more complex than that, but really it isn't. He wants to have you and her and that's certainly not what you want. And just for future reference, don't get involved with someone who is with someone else. It usually ends similarly. I know that sounds harsh, and I'm sorry, but I'm just trying to help you out. A lot of us have been there, me included and we have to learn from it and move on. So, yeah, move on.

[xkatex]

Thanks I know I sound nieve and such. I mean it all just happened today and yes ive cried for hours about it. i know its gonna hurt for a very long time but I really apprecitate your advice...i tend to listen to ppl who arent my friends or family better anyways

[Cook2b]

Hey i been here in almost the exact same situation!! it hurt like hell n i like you cried all day for like a week!
but i just thought to myself move on best u can coz you cant change his mind- once hes set on it thats it- men r stubborn like that- but i think you should not tell his gf coz its jus not fair - she dont deserve to be hurt shes done nothing wrong.. if tha makes sence- hope this helps a little
xx

[sera300]

This is the guy you wanted to know about calling? Assuming yes, he said he had a gf who treated him no so nicely and he intended on breaking it off. You wondered why he did not call or IM you. As I said let a man come to you, do not chase. With all of this...honestly, you set yourself up in a bad way. Many times people think/believe they are going to split, do so, and go back together later. Crying? No!!! You knew the risks and this was not a long term love relationship with him. You feel bad & you feel hurt b/c he got close to you. BOTH of you made a mistake. Let it go, no need to tell his gf what happened since it serves no purpose other then revenge. Perhaps this is why his sister was "cool" to you?

My point is; live & learn. He cares for another lady, he chose what he wants. Hang out? No way since you are not the fall back girl. Friend? Even friends make mistakes but I would avoid him like the plague since the only outcome here is you being hurt. Blow him off! Do not repeat this again, just let it go & get out with some of your friends!

[EvilEvilKitten]

This boy no longer even EXISTS.

The facts: he will break up wth her again - they usually do - because neither of them has changed at all - so what broke them up once, will do so again.

YOUR job is to IGNORE him and her COMPLETELY.

Even after they break up - he has to learn that when a good girl comes along - you hold onto her! You do not play stupid games. If he approaches you - say "Who?" "Oh, him?" "No, I don't think so."

and GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE

THIS is precisely why you do NOT go "exclusive" until he's down on bended knee offering you marriage - PERIOD.