Old friend, new passion?

[Raidenator]

As some of you may already know, me and my ex have been broken up for a little over a month now. So as of this moment I'm still in love with her but I know that I need to move on. Anyway, that's about it for backstory.

So here I am and I've been hanging out and talking to an old girl friend of mine. As we've hung out we decided that it would be cool to go on a little vacation together to Vegas, which is only about 5 hours from where I live.

Well.. A couple of days ago I said, "Let's do it. Let's go to Vegas next week, I have a couple of days off." This Vegas trip will be just the two of us and while I'm not worried it'll be awkward or anything I'm wondering about a slightly more...sexual aspect of the trip seeing as how we'll be staying together.

My overall point is that she's almost in the same boat I am. She still feels strongly for her old boyfriend, but she has no desire to get back together with him. She wants to continue to be single, but she has also said that she would like companionship and she doesn't mind sex either. My question is, is it possible to continue to have a good relationship with my friend here, but also be "sex buddies"? I don't feel any particular desire to be with her, being still stuck on my old lady but I certainly wouldn't mind getting with her. She's a good looking girl, and I'm not entirely unsure that she would mind being with me. So I'm not sure whether or not I should go for it.

Given the situation, what do you guys think?

[dancingdoc2]

> My question is, is it possible to continue to have a good relationship with my friend here, but also be "sex buddies"? I don't feel any particular desire to be with her, being still stuck on my old lady but I certainly wouldn't mind getting with her.

In a word: CHILL.

Yes, it is possible. Is having a sexual relationship on the rebound recommended? Generally, No.

> I've been hanging out and talking to an old girl friend of mine. As we've hung out we decided that it would be cool to go on a little vacation together to Vegas

Although you two have a history, what matters more is that you are now becoming reacquainted and this means the beginning of something new and hopefully different. This also means a new Square One on which to build. I recommend the two of you just enjoy the pleasure of each other's company now and on your trip to Las Vegas. Let the friendship build and mature as you would any new relationship.

It is also wise to get over the ex'es. It is generally not a good idea to date anyone with a serious intent who has recently ended a relationship.

> I don't feel any particular desire to be with her

This is not a good recipe for a make out session unless you both agree that it is sex for sex sake, only. If you do not feel any particular desire for her, it will show and this is not a good formula for bonding.

[Raidenator]

Fair enough.

Yeah I wouldn't ever recommend a rebound but a man has needs right? Also, we were never totally out of touch. Just the two of us had our own relationships and we just didn't stay close. At the moment we're "getting there". But I think you're right Doc. I oughta just relax and not get sexual with her. It's just rough after having someone for so long then being totally alone.

I guess I'll just have to play it by ear and see what happens.

[oedipussy]

Why not go for it? There's nothing wrong with two people looking for comfort with each other. And who knows what might develop? This could very well turn into something real. And even if it doesn't, would you really regret it?

All I could recommend is not going into it too fast - just start out with the simple things like kissing, cuddling, and sleeping in the same bed while you're on your trip, and see where it goes...

[Raidenator]

Well, that's what I'm kinda planning on oedipussy. But at this point I'm not even sure I can do that.

I've been dating a few times since my break up and I just now realize how much I'm still really in love with my ex. I kept telling myself to even just put my arm around any of the girls I've gone out with but it's too hard. I feel nothing for them as anything more than friends.

Anyone have some surefire tips to cure that? Because I'm all out of ideas.

[sera300]

Sure fire tips to cure it? Yeap! TIME. Just be friends with women, go out to see a movie, go out to dinner, etc. Nothing deep, intimate, or personal. Next time to have an urge, find a female friend, and have some fun--no commitments.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Shelve any expectations and just go and have a fun trip with a friend who happens to be female.