Going down on him - trashy behaviour? - sorta clueless

[7yearsout]

So I just got out of a long relationship in which sex was almost non-existent for the last 3-4 years. I am dating again (carefully, slowly), and recently got it on with a guy. I didn't feel comfortable having sex, so I went down on him instead. We made out a bit more afterwards, but i got to thinking, is that trashy? Should I have just jumped his bones? I feel so unsure about the norms, or are there even any norms? Help me out ladies and fellas.

[sera300]

There is no norm., if you want to do it, go for it. Do not settle for less then what you want. The older you are you find sex comes pretty fast, no games. Just use protection & jump his bones.

[nursefluffykins]

My opinion is that a oral sex isn't any more or less trashy than sex, nor is the sex trashy either... But perhaps what matters is discussing your concerns with this other person? Unless you really don't foresee any long-term investment with this person? If i thought I wasn't going to be seeing a guy again, I would just forget about it and now pour my heart out to him or anything lol... If this happens in the future, perhaps you could just tell the person beforehand straight out that you're not comfortable with sex just yet, but that you're ok with oral? I don't see anything wrong about that...

[NizeGie]

I'm somewhere in between there aren't any norms and the norms are so variable and confusing you might as well act like there aren't any.

On the other hand, going down on a guy in the middle of a nice cocktail party would probably be considered trashy.

Just for reference.

[sera300]

That's why there are bathrooms at Cocktail parties, LOL! Kidding!

[NizeGie]

Ah. I thought they were there so I could pee.

But that would explain those odd sounds I heard coming from a stall last weekend. And here I thought it was just something going awry with the plumbing.

[rdan05]

You went down on him because you wanted to or felt obligated to? That is what you need to answer. Or did you just give him a BJ to satisfy him?

[FFChick]

i belive that going down on someone isn't trashy, its just another way at foreplay but you gotta be comfortable with it first. if you aren't then dont, its simple.

[Godiva]

I don't think oral sex is trashy at all. It's your life. Just do what you're comfortable with and what makes you happy.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Sex is not 'trashy'.