"First love" Problem with my GF?

[CaldKel]

Hi guys and gals, I need some real advice.

I'm 20 and my girlfriends 17 we have been going out for around 5 months now and I really love her alot and she loves me aswell (sometimes).

She's my first proper girlfriend and we are both inexperienced in relationships and with sex.

On the relationship side of things. I have fallen in love with her and she has with me and we get on really well. But recently we've kind of went through a little sticky patch. I'm her first love and she's mine and I really want us to last because we are great together at first I didn't even think about these things at all infact we were just friends who'd spoke to each other for about 2 months prior to when she told me she liked me and I told her the same.

Theres a few problems right now one is that she doesn't show affection all the time. When we are together in bed or sometimes alone we can't keep our hands off one another and can't stop kissing. Sometimes though she won't even look at me and doesn't show affection back when I'm trying to show her some.

She is really young and I don't think she knows what to do with a boyfriend she does love me and she has told me so but I don't feel it alot.

She's really moody at times like will talk to me like a piece of **** and then if I ask if she's okay she will bite my head off.

She won't tell me her feelings she likes to keep them to herself and I want her to tell me them because I think if she talks to me I might be able to help or whatever and it sometimes makes me doubt when she won't tell me what she feels.

I'm really scared about getting hurt. Do you think she's fallen out of love with me or there is something else? Need experienced opinions.

On the sexual side of things

One is we've never had sex. We have done things together masturbation, oral sex ect but we've never had full intercourse. I know she is a virgin and I think we will probably have sex soon but we have took a long time because I've never tried to intimate sex because I thought I'd leave it to her to do it when she is ready. I'm not very experienced and I don't want to hurt her and another thing is I'm a virgin too and I told her so we are both kind of shy but I think we really do need to sleep together soon.

One question does having sex with your partner bring you closer together like will we love each other more afterwards?

Thanks if you can help x

[sera300]

She sounds confused, inexperienced, about how to treat men--let her know her behavior is unacceptable. Intercourse? No. Work on the "how to treat the one you love" issue first.

[EvilEvilKitten]

You are two inexperienced people fumbling around with your first relationship. Okay. Begin as you mean to go on. To wit;

1. NEVER let her get away with treating you like ****, yelling, biting your head off etc. Call her on it. "I am your boyfriend not your lap dog! Do not treat me like one." Grow a set, buddy.

2. She's 17 and ILLEGAL since you're over 18. Back off on the sex - ANY sex until she's 18. PERIOD. The courts do not give a damn about "we're so in love". Come on! You're not some 13 yr old anymore. Be adult.

3. Sorry to say this, but it may not last. Yes, I know "we're so in love". Yes, that's as may be. But before you can ask anyone to share your life with you - you have to HAVE a life. At 20, you are just beginning to build your life and she's still living at home and maybe you are as well. You simply do not have what's required to take a wife yet. WAIT.

This may have sounded harsh but it is the truth - young love and/or first love is very rarely one's last and abiding love. Enjoy it but do not be rash about it.
Fast to love but slow to marry is the key. Good luck!

[DruityLoops]

evilkitten is right, even though it may sound a bit harsh. i dont understand why you are saying ' but I think we really do need to sleep together soon.' having sex is not something you have to do after a certain amount of time, or at all.

as you are both unexperienced (nothing wrong with that at all, i was like that) then u should work out your hurdles before sleeping with each other. cus having sex won't magically fix your problems, you need to confront them and if you dont it just makes it worse and you'l get really hurt in the end. i have seen a lot of friends relationship end cus they think having sex 'will bring them closer together and make them love each other more' and they forget to tackle their other issues

[CaldKel]

Thank you very much for the advice.

I'm not going to work out the female mind to complicated, guys are pretty simple, so if she's confused or that i'll talk to her or i'll talk to her mum because me and her mum are quite close.

Thanx guys apreciate it.

[EvilEvilKitten]

No, the female mind is not at all complicated - we're people just like you but we were trained differently and have different priorities. Bad manners and incivility remain bad manners and incivility regardless of the gender.

Inexperienced sex between 17 and 20 year olds is a BAD idea - remember you're being ILLEGAL. SEX, esp unskilled sex, will NOT fix or cure ANYTHING.

What will fix your relationship is Number 1 as I stated below.
Simply do NOT put up with any lack of respect.

[CaldKel]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

No, the female mind is not at all complicated - we're people just like you but we were trained differently and have different priorities. Bad manners and incivility remain bad manners and incivility regardless of the gender.

Inexperienced sex between 17 and 20 year olds is a BAD idea - remember you're being ILLEGAL. SEX, esp unskilled sex, will NOT fix or cure ANYTHING.

What will fix your relationship is Number 1 as I stated below.
Simply do NOT put up with any lack of respect.

Its not illegal here the age is 16. I'm not in any rush and either is she we get along great together we're like best m8's at times aswell.

But yeah the relationship comes first once we are sure of things then we will go further, as you say we are only young and we have plenty time to do these things.

Thanx EvilKitten.