Thinking about Another Guy While Having Sex?

[yuna5]

Ok, so i want to have sex with this guy but i don't feel much attraction for him yet. I once had sex with a guy i didn't feel much attraction for and the feeling was wierd, the sex was boring to me and i just wanted it over. But the guy actually enjoyed it and wanted me to do it again with him. But i decided not to. Fast forward to now.

I really want to have sex. I'd go back to the guy i slept with before but didn't feel attracted to but he's stoo far away. So, there's a guy close by that i want to have sex with but the attraction isn't there yet. I'm afraid it'll be boring like when i had sex with the other guy. So, i'm thinking to get through it maybe i could imagine another guy i am attracted to while i'm having sex? Is that totally sleazy? Then i think i could get through the sex and maybe i'd be able to have more sex with the same guy... And i'm thinking maybe i could get attracted to the guy i'm having sex with eventually?

Or will having sex with someone i'm just not attracted to not work? Has anyone had sex with someone while imagining someone else? Does that work to make the sex more enjoyable? Or will that fail? I have a feeling imagining another guy during sex will fail.

But wouldn't a guy feel happy getting sex, even if the woman imagines another guy during sex? The first guy i talked about really liked it when i was completely bored. So, i'm thinking guys would like the sex even if i'm slightly bored and thinking about someone else?

This idea is sounding worse and worse. I don't know if i can have sex with a guy and get through it by imagining another guy. I'm afraid it won't work and i still won't want to continue having sex. has anyone done this?

[yuna5]

and yes, i feel totally desperate which is why i'm considering this. I'm sure people have felt desperate?

[sera300]

I have felt so horney I could screw a door knob--find a FWB. Thinking of others--no & no sex with the boring to just get it. Or find someone who you are attracted to and look for an intimate encounter "person" only.

[yuna5]

haha! i can't thank you enough, Sera.... you're completely right... but what if i have a friend i don't feel attracted to?

[sera300]

Originally Posted by yuna5

haha! i can't thank you enough, Sera.... you're completely right... but what if i have a friend i don't feel attracted to?

Find one you are...or set up a profile on plentyoffish, keep your picture off...be selective. Meet out in public, and see what happens. Just be safe!!! Look for an experienced man...no little "boys". Men tend to be more selective in what they want...and you do the same. Find profiles, local, you find interesting...go for it.

[yuna5]

Haha! again, your wisdom astounds me... it's just what i needed... it's so unusual to be able to find easy answers to my problems! Thanks so much Sera!

[sera300]

Originally Posted by yuna5

Haha! again, your wisdom astounds me... it's just what i needed... it's so unusual to be able to find easy answers to my problems! Thanks so much Sera!

You are welcome...be certain you write your profile well...that you are looking for an intimate encounter and a friend. Be selective, let them e-mail a clothed pic to you when comfortable--no nudes, set your age ranges, etc. Always meet on your turf where you are comfy, and always be safe...no giving him a lift, etc.

[yuna5]

thanks, there are 2 guys who are "friends" that i'll see with... thanks so much for your advice, this is much better than what i was planning to do but still workable!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Sure! Go ahead!
Just remember: call them all "Darling!" so you don't cry out the wrong name.

as to profiles:

Include a picture that shows your body but not your face - guys want to know what to expect - bbw or not.
Next be VERY up-front about who you want but keep it SHORT - men do not read beyond a certain point. If you give them too many hoops to jump through, they'll pass you on by so think very carefully about how you are presenting yourself to your target audience.Bottom line - what MUST you have from him. I'd limit it to three sentences and three major attributes.

When you meet them - a lunch in a public and popular eatery is the best - this time, you just talk and let your radar take over. If you like him enough, schedule a date - a "testride" if you will - for later on. If not, say thank you and move on. During the testride, if you do not enjoy him and what you experienced - be tactful but implacable - say sorry and move on.
Always learn from your adventures and refine your desires, techniques, processes, and profile.

Happy hunting!

[yuna5]

Thanks EEK! I will definitely use this advice when making a personal ad. Great info...