Is he interested in me or not? Confused...

[xkatex]

There this this guy that I really like. We have hung out once or twice and had a great time. But they other night he asked me to meet him so I did. I waited an hour and he never showed. I talked to him the next day and I was quite pissed about being ditched and I expressed my feelings quite harshly to him. He apologized for it and told me he fell asleep but was really sorry and would make it up to me. We are suppose to be hanging out today and he said he will call when hes on his way but deep down I have the feeling its not gonna happen. Could this just be because of what happened previously? Or should I listen to this feeling and not expect him to call? If he doesnt call then I think its in my best interests to cut this relationship off also it is easier said then done. But if he doesnt call and ends up giving a good/believable excuse, should I believe it or expect it to be a lie? Also is this guy worth the time. He has left me hanging only once before this. We were gonna hang out but when I asked him if we still were he said he didnt think it was a good idea cuz i was in a bitchy mood. I was quite offended by the comment and told him a didnt apprciate it but me being the person i am I forgave him for it. And I being to easy on this guy or too cautious with the relationship. We've hung out before and we both(im assuming) had a great time. He never "tried anything" if you know what I mean. We arent considered "dating" yet either, just some friends interested in eachother hanging out. Just I need help and plz be gentle with it

[sera300]

If he calls fine, if not forget about him. As far as him missing a planned date once is forgiveable after that blow him off...look for men (dates or friends) to treat you better.

[dancingdoc2]

Sera is spot on.

From what I gather from your account, this character seems a bit idealistic, pompous, and a bit pretentious.

Sera recommended that if he stands you up a second time to move on. In your story you've already stated that this is the second time.

There are a lot of fellas out there who do call when they leave or are in transit, or who will be more than a few minutes late, just to be polite, caring, and informative. There are a lot of fellas out there you you should find and invest some time and interest in rather than this guy, me thinks.

If he does show up this next time, then you can weigh all this information against his attitude. That he states you probably should not meet because of your attitude is a huge danger sign.

> But if he doesnt call and ends up giving a good/believable excuse, should I believe it or expect it to be a lie?

Do I really need to answer this? Come on, guys would rather lie to get out of something instead of coming clean and telling the truth. How many times do you need to replay this scenario before you get it?

[xkatex]

Thanks for the info. Heres what happened. He called and said he cudnt hang out when we planned cause a bunch of friends wanted him to go to the beach. Yes I flipped out and embraced inner grouchiness. He then said when he gets home later on that he wudnt mind hanging out then. I figure its a good way of making things up to me and he didnt call to let me know and not stand me up and he did replan the hangout. But im kinda ticked off that his friends came before me. But really its somewhat understandable because theyve been friends since they were wee ones and we just met a little while ago. I agree its somewhat rude of him but then again its understandable....am I giving him too much of a break or is what he doing a good sign? Sorry if I sound like an idiot

[oedipussy]

Ummm.... You two had plans and he just went to the beach on a whim? Sounds like this guy isn't someone you can depend on.

[sera300]

Now, skip him and find a reliable man to hang out with. A male friend who changes plans with me is only acceptable if there is an emergency, tied up at work and cannot get out, or if he cancels in advance (a day or so before) because he met a lady and has a hot date with her and her could not pick an alternative date with her (my male friends rarely do this).

Boyfriend? He better have a REALLY good excuse, he missed his flight home, family member died, pipes broke in his house. See? Any BS you move on since he is not interested. When he calls me back, I blow him off by not bothering with speaking or explaning it to him. The more you make excuses for him the more you enable him.

[dancingdoc2]

> He called and said he cudnt hang out when we planned cause a bunch of friends wanted him to go to the beach.

Hmmm, de ja vu. Seems like I just included this action in another post earlier today.

> He then said when he gets home later on that he wudnt mind hanging out then.

Power trip. And you want to wait (up), why? Of course he wouldn't mind especially if you're up when he gets wet and cold enough at the beech.

> I figure its a good way of making things up to me and he didnt call to let me know and not stand me up and he did replan the hangout.

Ya think? Sounds pretty desperate. How much "rope" do you want to keep doling out to this person? There have been many TV programs, movies, and news accounts of women sticking with a man (even abusive relationships) in the hope that they can fix him, or, that he will change, rather than seeing reality for what it is. I'm not trying to be unkind, yet, those of us who have replied seem to be telling the same things to you: Poor investment--poor or no return on investment.

Here is a partial copy from that earlier post:

> Also how can you tell that a guy is actually into you and not just the sexual pleasure.

There is a recent book by that title that you might want to read.
He is into YOU because he enjoys the pleasure of your company, makes plans for future dates, calls but not too often, likes holding your hand or placing an arm around your shoulders. He is into you because he is attentive, shows care and concern, and listens. Along with this is the fact that he schedules time to be with you and does not continually sideline you in favor of his male friends and activities.
He is into you because as important as sex is, the quality of the relationship is more important. If the relationship is working, the romantic aspect will be working. It has been said that if a relationship works, sex is 10% of it. If a relationship is not working, sex is 90% of the reason. So for right now, if the romance and sex are in proper proportion to other aspects then the two of you should be on solid footing.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Send this puppy back home to his mother to learn some manners.

Once you make a date ONLY your illness or death excuses you from keeping the date. Period.

Now then - stop "just hanging out" with guys. If you do they tend to treat you as one of the guys and you aren't one of the guys. Begin taking yourself a little more seriously than that. Date, time, and event - type dates are all that you will consider from now on. And if you are stood up, they are off your list - no second chances.