Should I tell him I love him ???

[ukeka27]

Hello All I am new to this site... And need some advice.

This is kinda long ..

I was in a LTR for 10yrs with in that time my ex BF cheated with one girl, got another one pregnant, and became obssesed with online websites ?? needless to say enough was enough and he had to go ... we did break up once before and he moved out .. in that time I met a guy threw my BFF and we had sex, He was a nice guy we had a good time and that was that, Yet we always seemed to keep in contact with one another in some form or fashion over the corse of my relationship with my ex, but never anything sexual just talking every so often .. 6yrs in my relation ship with my ex my fling went to jail & yet we still contacted each other ... Now My ex and I are no longer together and have not been for almost 2yrs ... my fling alway keept in contact with me even when I was going thru things and had to blow him off... now things are a bit different For the last 4 months... My fling .. and I have been talking night and day ... He lives out of state and i have visited with him a couple of times and we both have plans of seeing more of each other .. I.e we are making plan to go on vacation with on another making plans to go to concerts and things to spend time with each other he also wants to meet my kids and excepts me for me with my faults, We can talk about any and everything ... He calls me just to say i wanted to hear your voice and leave cute messages on my phone at work... He calls me on most of his breaks at work ... He wants to come visit me here in ny some of the time so I dont alway have to be the only one to travel . He make me feel so special with just the simple things he does... And I know I want to make him feel the same way he listens when I talk and i listen when he has problems ... He also has been hurt so many times before and I dont want him to think that I am going to hurt him or that we need a violent shove into a more serious relationship ... The truth is when I think of the furture I see him in it ... What we have is really nice he shows me in all his actions that he love me too but because he has been hurt I dont think he will say it 1st ... Should I tell him i love him ? ...

[sera300]

No. I would not say anything regardless of your feelings. Wait and spend time together.

One thing which stands out in your post; are you choosing wisely men? Sounds as if you are getting hooked up with a criminal. And the last one you should have walked out on a long time ago.

I think you really need to think about what is best for you and your kids, don't jump into anything.

[-wittyphrasehere-]

I agree with Sera.
Love is an antique. Dun go tossing it around unless you really mean it.

[ukeka27]

Originally Posted by sera300

No. I would not say anything regardless of your feelings. Wait and spend time together.

One thing which stands out in your post; are you choosing wisely men? Sounds as if you are getting hooked up with a criminal. And the last one you should have walked out on a long time ago.

I think you really need to think about what is best for you and your kids, don't jump into anything.

My kids are always and will forever be a 1st priority in my life. Above all else


I am not sure how to approch ... Telling him my feels... As for choosing men wisely, I dont think everone you meet will have there bad qualities on the shoulders for me to pick and choose from. ?? it was almost 10ys you live and you learn and I have learned alot about myself in that time.

Getting hook up with a criminal ... Well That is his Past he was young and stupid and I am not going to hold it against him he never killed anyone. I am looking at him for him right now ... He has 2 jobs goes to church, Eliminated the people and situations That let him end up in the situation he was in. thats not of real concern to me because i have known him for 5yrs now. but more recently have become more involved.

But loving someone new .. is a whole new world for me

[sera300]

I would just wait it out, spend time together, if anything is to be said let him make the first move...

We all put up with "too much stuff" at times, if we learn something from it, then all is not lost. Just take it slow and see what happens.

You find as you move through life there are many "love" interests; loving someone who is new (not your ex) is fine, it's takes time to get used to! Just take is slow...

[Newtolove]

go easy get to know him it's true people do change (and don't take going to church as a sign of goodness, my boss is an ex priest and he is the most nasty manipulative b@stard I have ever known not to mention seeing fraud as no obstacle to make money). yea wait for him to make moves

[EvilEvilKitten]

Calm down, stop and focus. Why are you being exclusive? You just spent 10 years with a man you should not have spent 5 minutes with! Now you are trying to get into another LTR and you're asking us? If you were entirely happy about it, you would not be here talking to us. So no - do NOT tell him anything. Instead:

Date a lot of men until one steps up and asks you to marry him.