Getting over someone how long? Professional help?

[michelle2004]

Ok I have read different things about getting over someone. Some say however long you were together is how long it takes...others say two years. I am confused and I just can't figure out why I cant get over my ex...its be 7 months!

BAH!

At what point should I seek professional help? My old College friend runs a suicide hotline and she has been steering me towrds professional help, but I just dont know who to go to and how all that works with my insurance and its a hassle of a mess.

[sera300]

Depends on your behavior. If you are depressed or feel you want to harm yourself you need to see a professional. But on the same hand, if you do not feel this way, you have to make yourself go out and date. That is the key to getting over someone. This is the guy who did not love you? Therefore, you did not have the "full" history together, so get out and get dating. You have to take baby steps to make progress. The pain? It subsides, it never fully goes away but it becomes okay!!!

[oedipussy]

I don't think there's really any set amount of time that it takes to get over someone. You have to do it at your own pace.

I don't really believe in professional help personally. I think it's important for people to sort out their problems on their own. Professional help is just a crutch - you can't rely on someone else to fix your life.

I'm just taking a complete shot in the dark here, but maybe the reason that you can't get over him is that you don't really want to?

[michelle2004]

Originally Posted by oedipussy

I don't think there's really any set amount of time that it takes to get over someone. You have to do it at your own pace.

I don't really believe in professional help personally. I think it's important for people to sort out their problems on their own. Professional help is just a crutch - you can't rely on someone else to fix your life.

I'm just taking a complete shot in the dark here, but maybe the reason that you can't get over him is that you don't really want to?

Probably....but how do I convience myself that I do want to....

He was my first for a lot of things...my first love, my first partner, the first person I ever trusted with my past, the first to ever make me feel say, and the first to break my heart.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by michelle2004

Probably....but how do I convience myself that I do want to....

He was my first for a lot of things...my first love, my first partner, the first person I ever trusted with my past, the first to ever make me feel say, and the first to break my heart.

Remember him fondly and move on! I agree with Oed. regarding professional help. Unless you are in serious danger of harming yourself it's a crutch; you have to just get out there and experience life--good and bad.

[michelle2004]

See I have heard "move on" and I understand it, but I just dont know how...

I wish there was a switch or something...its driving me crazy!

[sera300]

Originally Posted by michelle2004

See I have heard "move on" and I understand it, but I just dont know how...

I wish there was a switch or something...its driving me crazy!

Get on-line and start dating. That's how. Begin talking to men in stores, wink at someone at a red light, flirt. Put your head high and look around. Look at all life has to offer and embrace it. Date lots of men....if you want to or not.

[oedipussy]

I'm not sure that you can convince yourself. This is love we're talking about here, right? Unfortunately logic plays no part in it. You can know it's wrong and tell yourself whatever you want to, but the fact is that you can't force yourself to feel differently. Your heart is always going to make you its bitch. That's just human nature.

[michelle2004]

I think its so ironic that the woman here is telling to go out and date a lot and the man is the one saying that I can't force myself to move on....

laughing at crying at the same time...what a way to spend a work day...I think I will ditch out early and do something...I just dont know what, because I have the gym at 6....

I just wish I could understand my ex....this doesn't make any sense at all...

[sera300]

Don't dwell on the ex! You did not see something which was there. So, let it go! Get out of work, be unlike yourself and blow it off early, it's Friday! Go and flirt with someone. Go window shopping. Sign up on line for one of the dating sites...trust me. BE CONFIDENT. See what you want in a man, make friends. Not all dates turn out to boyfriends, they can turn out to be a friend though. Stop looking for a boyfriend, start looking for a date or 10! Mr. Right will not come knocking on your door, you have to get out there...flirt or start a conversation w/some guy at the gym. That's your "goal" for today, be friendly and make eye contact and SMILE!