Feelings for Ex and friend - I have a problem

[jayman1086]

i think im starting to have feelings for my ex and i know i have feelings for one of my friends. i dont know if i should tell my ex how i feel and i dont know how hard to push my friend to hang out cuz we dont hang out that much anymore. i know she has her own life and i want to respect that but i also just want to make a move on her. any help?

[girl12]

With your ex, however the relationship was, I am sure there was a reason that it ended. Think about that.

About your friend, maybe call her one day or text her and tell her you want to go to lunch, or go to the beach, or something along those lines. And see how she reacts. If she needs her space, then move on from her.

[jayman1086]

but should i tell my ex that i still have feelings for her, i mean she does have a bf now and i dont want to mess that up. plus i dont know if i want to get back together w/ her or not yet and i dont want to give her false hope.

[overc]

Originally Posted by jayman1086

but should i tell my ex that i still have feelings for her, i mean she does have a bf now and i dont want to mess that up. plus i dont know if i want to get back together w/ her or not yet and i dont want to give her false hope.

Don't tell that to the ex! The best thing is just to cut off communication with her. I know, it sounds like a horrible deed to do, but ultimately you'll feel better. The problem with exes is you break up, and then the bad memories slowly fade away, making you think - hey, why'd we break up? I was in your situation some time ago, still talking to my ex and kinda having feelings for her. I cut off communication completely and we didn't talk for TWO YEARS. Now we talk and we're fine as friends.

Go for the friend, not the ex. The ex is a minefield...

[jayman1086]

well me and her didnt talk for like 2 months and i know she still has feelings for me and im thinking about getting back together w/ her. and i dont know is my friends wants to date me.

[EvilEvilKitten]

The ex no longer exists - forget her - PERIOD. Just do it!

ASK the other lady if she'd like to go out to THIS event, on THIS date, at THIS time and see if she says, yes. Women prefer specific dates rather than the "lets hang out" thing.

[michelle2004]

who ended the relationship with the ex? How long were y'all together? What is the backstory?

[jayman1086]

we were together for 11 months, well i guess she ended cuz she said she wanted to take a break just for spring break and i told her if she did then we would be done. then after spring break she was pratically begging me to take her back.

[michelle2004]

hmmm....that makes it more complicated. I mean if you had clearly ended it then the ball would be in your court on restarting it. But she is with someone. How long have they been together and is she serious about him? As for the friend, how long have you know here and do you think she has feelings for you?

[jayman1086]

well my ex isnt w/ anyone anymore, she apparently broke up w/ him. ive know my friend for like 3 yrs or so and i think she does, she acts like it sometime and them sometimes she doesnt talk to me at all.