Two weeks in

[CrazyJenny]

It's been two weeks since my former boss stayed over for the first time, and since then she and I have spent alot of time together.

Most evenings, we end up doing something together either alone or with some of the people we both know. I guess you could call it dating, but it doesn't really feel like it. I guess the problem is that I still don't know whether I'm bisexual and it was meant to be this way or if I'm straight and simply trying something else. Maybe I shouldn't care which it is, because it seems like I don't really need to know.

The more I get to know her, the more I like her. Even though she was once my superior, it's as if all that's forgotten. She's got a needy side which is almost codependent/clingy, but even though she's around me alot it's not to an obnoxious level. It seems that for me, she fills a gap in my life, and perhaps I'm blinded by infatuation, but it's easy enough for me to accept her faults. She's a bit blunt, highly emotional, and has a habit of saying and doing the wrong things at the wrong time.

If what we are doing is technically dating (and I do have an interest in her), is it a good idea to get into a relationship? So far I haven't let her touch me very much, and certainly no kissing or other "romantic" contact. Right now I'd love to do all those things, right on up to sex, but I know it's not right and I'm holding back until I know what's going on.

[Engage!]

Well, since nobody else has posted yet, I will.

I'd be careful about the relationship yet if I were you, but I think you've done things right so far. Good choice setting the boundaries, also. It will help you determine whether she is wanting a real relationship or not.

Since I never officially did any dating, I can't quite say what dating is! You can have a good relationship without doing the whole "official" business with restaurants and special trips and such. Just be her best friend, and see where that takes you.

As for sex, it's probably best to wait. You still don't know her very well, and if you go there immediately there's nothing to look forward too. Also, you might want to get used to the idea a bit before taking the plunge. After all, it would be your first time, wouldn't it?

Just be careful, relax, and enjoy the ride.

[Brandye]

If some of these characteristics (blunt, emotional, clingy) are worth noting this early, they could well get in the way later. I am assuming there is no professional relationship remaining. Co-workers in this situation would be risking too much. If your paychecks are no longer linked in any way, the risk could well be worth it. Only you can decide that.

Recognize that you are likely already thought to be bi- or lesbian by the people you two are spending so much time with. If this is OK by you, go for it. If you have doubts, back off.