I like the guy...but his clothes...!

[rdhdliz22]

I just started dating this guy for about a month, and things have been going great. The only problem? His clothes and shoes. He is extremely well off but his shirts are so worn they have holes in them, and he's always going around in muddy boots. Don't get me wrong, I like a man that can get his hands dirty and works hard for a living. But sometimes I wish he would at least wear non-stained, in tact clothing every once and awhile, especially when we are going out to places. He keeps himself clean, but he's been wearing the same shirts for god knows how long. I've casually offered to buy him a few new shirts but he refuses, saying he's got a closet full of them and only wants to wear the other ones because they're "comfortable". His friends have even suggested to me that he needs a womans touch, someone to drag him out shopping, but I think he'd rather cut off his arm than go do that. Is it a hopeless cause to try and remedy the problem? Especially this early on?

[sera300]

If he does not care about his appearance around you, guess what? He does not care about your opinions either. Imagine when you have been together for about 2 years, what will he be doing if he is putting out his best impression now!

[cjb1981]

I'm a lot like that myself. I have one pair of jeans, one pair of shoes, and 3 t-shirts that I wear when I go out to dinner, or whatever. I work in a job that is fairly heavy manual labor, and I have separate work clothes for that. I don't really see the big deal, but I guess I can understand your position. I think that my girlfriend is a typical woman when it comes to clothes, shes got well over 20 pair of shoes, and a ton of clothes. That makes absolutely no sense to me, but I don't hassle her about it. It's her prerogative to have all of that, just like it's my prerogative to have the clothes that I have. I doubt your situation is any different. The worst thing you could do, is buy him clothes that YOU want him to wear. If you do go out and get him something, basically just get him a copy of what he's already got, that way he won't feel like you're trying to change him. That way, his clothes will at least be new.

[Brandye]

Hey, I am a woman and fall into those masculine habits with casual clothes. If I do not catch myself, Eva yanks my chain - like she throws them out. Yank his. If he does not respond, see all of the above.

[Engage!]

I tend to be a bit AR about my appearance, but my wife tended to dress a bit sloppy, even bordering on sluttish at times. Even in highschool and college I would comment on her clothes and occasionally remove something behind her back (friendly help and all that). She about had a heart attack when I threw out some of her old stuff a couple of weeks ago, but you should have seen the smile on her face when I took her shopping! Get a bit closer to your guy, and then get tough. With sloppy people, you need to help them help themselves. However, don't expect him to really change. You can't make a slob turn into a neatnik.

[EvilEvilKitten]

If you are dressing nicely for him, he should be willing to return the favor.
If he doesn't, then he's not that into you, hun.

[Newtolove]

difficult to judge without knowing the guy at work I'm sloppy with clothing but i sure don't go out in my working designer jeans covered in about all the colours found on a pantone matching guide swatch

[sera300]

It's okay to work hard and have our comfy clothes, especially when we are around someone we are comfortable with. But a new guy with a new gal, dirty and stained? Ughhh...We all have those horrible clothes we love! But I would not wear them around a latest interest (if I had one)!

[cjb1981]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

If you are dressing nicely for him, he should be willing to return the favor.
If he doesn't, then he's not that into you, hun.

Maybe that goes for women, but not guys. At least not the guys I know, myself included. I met my current girlfriend for the first time on Valentines Day, I wore a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. She on the other hand was dressed quiet well. The only reason I wore a t-shirt and jeans, is because that's how I dress. It didn't have a thing to do with her or the situation, It's just me. Obviously, I wouldn't wear that to a wedding or a church, but I don't think that there is anything wrong with wearing it on a date. I thing that most guys feel the same.

[eminatic]

why should it matter what he's wearing?