Dating In a Relationship

[Massdebator]

Does anyone find it inappropriate to go on 1on1 dates with others whilst in a monogomous relationship with someone?

[sera300]

If it's an exclusive relationship then dating other's makes it no longer exclusive, huh? Defeats the purpose. Just date whomever you wish and do not get into an exclusive/monogamous relationship.

[Massdebator]

I'm not the one wanting to go on dates.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by Massdebator

I'm not the one wanting to go on dates.

Gotcha. I had a husband like that! He liked to "date" on the side. LOL! Just split & go your own ways & date each other when you feel like it, see lots of other's. Date the world; that's how you find the right person for yourself through getting to know what's out there and what you really want (both). Let her go.

[Ephemera]

If you want an exclusive relationship and she wants to date on the side then it won't work. Arguing over who is right of wrong won't fix the situation. Do as told and let her go, maybe you'll both realize that the dating world is a cold, dark, scary place and return to each other. Maybe not, either way, you should let her go for now.

[Massdebator]

I'll give you guys the full story and see if you still say the same. We've been dating exclusively for almost 6 months, and I love her. She wants to go out on dates with guys whom she considers friends. She isn't seeking out a new boyfriend or anything. The problem for me is that some of these guys are ex-bf's, but all of them like her in some way.

It's ironic that her last boyfriend broke up with her because she went on a date with me, and I'm thinking of doing the same. However, just to clear my name here, I didn't know she had a boyfriend at the time, and we were only going on the date as friends. Neither of us had any intention of going out.

I don't want to leave her. It would crush me, but I don't want to be "controlling" and tell her what she can or can't do. This is especially true now, because we recently got in a big fight over her last boyfriend, whom she wants to be friends with again even after he sexually harassed her and tried to get her to leave me and date him again. I told her she couldn't be friends with him, now I'm thinking of telling her she can't do something else on top of that. I don't think I'm in the wrong here, but I still don't like the place these decisions are taking me to.

[sera300]

So let her date who she wants on a Friday night or Saturday and you do the same; you go out with your female friends. Don't sit home.

[Massdebator]

Do you think I was wrong to tell her she couldn't be friends with or talk to her last boyfriend? I still feel guilty about it, but I thought it was necessary if we were going to be together.

[curious_woman]

He sexually harassed her? NO WAY I agree with what she did, she should not be involved any way whatsoever with a man who did that to her!

The thing is, does she consider your relationship monogamous/exclusive? If she does well...something seems wrong .

[sera300]

Originally Posted by Massdebator

Do you think I was wrong to tell her she couldn't be friends with or talk to her last boyfriend? I still feel guilty about it, but I thought it was necessary if we were going to be together.

I only think you are wrong to tell her what she can or cannot do. Regardless of what is happening between them, you cannot tell her yes, you can do this or no, you cannot.