Is it love?

[CrazyJenny]

I don't really know what love feels like - I've never loved anyone before. (And if you've read my recent thread in the "New to Sex" section you'll know what situation I'm dealing with right now. This is a continuation of that...)

I've applied for a new job as secretary for a local small business, and I think I will be accepted. My boss says that she's fine with me moving on, but seems to have an attachment for me. She stayed over at my apartment last night.

I've only gotten to know her just a little bit, and I never thought before that I might be bisexual, but I have these feelings I've never had before. I know it's probably early to say if this feeling I have is love or just a crush. It's so hard to describe.

My other issue is that she turns me on. She is very attractive, with red hair and gray eyes. We're also the same height. Her intentions don't seem terribly sexual, but there's an undertone of sex. I had a dream last night of having sex with her and I was SO turned on. I want so badly to love someone, to have sex, but nothing seems quite right.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Just move on. This whole thing sounds more like a 'crush' or an 'infatuation' than a serious love.

[sera300]

Jenny, you just met her. Love comes with knowing someone deeply & accepting the +/- within them. Since she is your first real interest, I'd say it's an interest.

[CrazyJenny]

That's kind of what I thought, but since I have never felt anything like this before, I don't know. As for moving on, I'm not sure. She was here tonight again, but at least she didn't stay over. I've kind of let her know I don't want to take things fast (no more kissing, and no possibility of sex). If she wants me, she's gonna have to be polite and show that she can be a friend first. I'm willing to give it a chance, but I'm not sure how far out on a limb I want to go. It's all so new.

[Engage!]

Well, as soon as you have another job you can do what you want. It sounds like a crush to me, though. Even after 2 motnhs you still won't know her enough to really love her. love takes time. Maybe after a year you could say that you're in love, but until then you're just testing the waters and building friendship. I'm glad you have an interest though. It's progress. Don't be surprised though if this falls through - most people don't have the luck of having their first interest become a successful relationship.

[CrazyJenny]

I guess you're right. Good new though - I'll have a new job starting Monday. I've also decided that I am going to pursue a relationship with this woman - who now happens to be my first interest. She'll no longer be my boss, thank God. I'm still a bit apprehensive about the age difference, but I guess it doesn't matter. I've heard of dirty old men who have married girls thirty years younger than they are.....

[sera300]

Just be careful, you wondered about your feelings for her...recall that she has a habit of pushing people away & has been suicidal. Look after you not getting emotionally hurt throughout the relationship process. Good move on the job change and congrats!

[LoveGems]

You have to be careful because you don't truly understand your own feelings. You could get involved with this woman just because you think you like her, not because you know you like her.

If this is a true attraction then you will feel your emotion towards her grow, just be wary and take it slow until you know what you are feeling for sure.