here is the deal...

[anotheranon11]

So, I'm in love with this girl, but she has a boyfriend (who she complains about a lot and treats her like ****) She knows i love her, and she has said that she loves me, and she said she doesnt love him, but she still doesn't do anything about her boyfriend... 1) For the girls... translate that into GuySpeak, please? 2) For everyone... How do I kind of prompt her into getting rid of him without it seeming bad. Help... please....

[emerald52781]

If the girl truly loved you than she would have tossed her BF to the curb to be with you already. When she says that she loves you does she mean the kind of love that she would have for a best friend or the kind of love that she would have for a lover? It seems to me that she's just stringing you along. Instead of trying to get her to break up with him, you should just let things take their own course. Who knows? Maybe someday she'll wake up and realize she's missing out on a good thing with you, but you shouldn't wait around for her. Relationships like that tend to be pretty unhealthy...

[sera300]

Agreed, she is just playing you.

[anotheranon11]

Something I forgot to mention is that she is not the typical girl I have run into... she doesn't play games with stuff like this. ever. Her best friend is on my side, and she has said the same things to her. She worries a lot about making people upset, and I think when I came along it turned dumping him into a "for you" type of thing, and that bothers her... any thing else?

And as for the comments so far, I am letting things just go. Whatever happens, happens. I think she might be confused on what love is, too... I don't know. How do you define that anyway?

[sera300]

Originally Posted by anotheranon11

Something I forgot to mention is that she is not the typical girl I have run into... she doesn't play games with stuff like this. ever. Her best friend is on my side, and she has said the same things to her. She worries a lot about making people upset, and I think when I came along it turned dumping him into a "for you" type of thing, and that bothers her... any thing else?

And as for the comments so far, I am letting things just go. Whatever happens, happens. I think she might be confused on what love is, too... I don't know. How do you define that anyway?

Any woman with self-esteem will not stay with a bf out of fear of not hurting or disappointing him. She may not be "typical" but it's still a form of a game. Jumping out of one relationship into another is bad news since she is seeking a warm body. No one likes to hurt another but there enters a point of being fair to yourself and pursuing personal happiness. At times, we wake up an realise the current relationship is not what we want, & moving on is hurtful at times for both but it's part of life. Maybe she lacks self-esteem to put her own happiness first and above all. Be leery since she has a tough time following what she wants in life.

Yes, many are compelled to believe they are in love and yet it's rather a habit--they have then affection for the other person. I say date many women and when you come to a time in life (to settle down into a marriage) you are better to pick a woman suited best for you, one who compliments you as a person & is willing to be a partner. Lack of understanding love & understanding healthy relationships are issues for her.

[anotheranon11]

She does have some self esteem issues, and she has told me why in the deepest confidence so I won't go into it (even though this is anonymous xD). And that is kind of what I'm getting at... how do I get her to "wake up?" Every time a girl has done something in the past, i've been able to move on pretty easily... but she is something different...


This **** should not be this complicated...


Thank you for the advice.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by anotheranon11

She does have some self esteem issues, and she has told me why in the deepest confidence so I won't go into it (even though this is anonymous xD). And that is kind of what I'm getting at... how do I get her to "wake up?" Every time a girl has done something in the past, i've been able to move on pretty easily... but she is something different...


This **** should not be this complicated...


Thank you for the advice.

You do not get her to wake up. You explain to her that as a friend (who also has romantic feelings for her--be upfront, no hidden agenda) that there are many out there who would treat you better...you are one. Ask her to give it a shot.

[anotheranon11]

Thank you. =)

[adcutey]

OK take it from a girl who's been in this same situation! You might have to either be satisfied with being the "other man" or move on. If she's been with this guy for a long time she probably doesn't want to hurt her boyfriend or is just scared to break up with him. Anyone can say that she should leave the 'bad' guy and go to you, but it's always a lot easier said then done.

[anotheranon11]

Six months, they live a few hours apart, and rarely see each other. I might just have to confront her about it....