Girlfriend still has feelings/missing heart.

[Rail]

Thank you all for helping me out with this. I have a feeling she is just going to break up with me soon. ("Its not you, its me" crying speech). To try and sort things out in her head by herself.
Ive been heartbroken in the past before, and the best advice I was ever given was, "You will never forget about that person, you can't forget about love" so just cherish the memories you have of them, and live your life for yourself.

Of course it is easier said than done, you just need to know that you will not forget about them; accept that and move on.

I am really hoping for the best with us; but, I feel totally powerless. I should probably take the initiative and talk to her... I just hate to see her cry.

[demonbuttercup]

I mean just b/c she takes some time doesn't mean that it HAS to be over. She might have just went directly into another relationship before she was ready.
She might take some time to "sort" and a few months later... realize that you are for her.

That being said...don't wait around for her either.... Take your time to yourself and then venture back out to dating....but if you wait around and she NEVER sorts it out or decides that you aren't right for her...then you've wasted a lot of precious time.

[sera300]

Demon has it right. If the love is true, we give those we love the space to "get it together". You go back and establish your life, don't wait around, date other's casually, hit the gym, hang out with friends. If she returns in a few months sit and talk & hear her out. Then make an informed decision and proceed accordingly, if not you continue on your way.

Don't make this agonizing for her either, if you are sensing it broach the subject, get it out there and let her know it is okay. You will be better suited then waiting for the cut.

[curious_woman]

Okay, I skipped ahead because I got lazy to read but...I have been here.

When I first met my fiancée, I had been broken up with someone for about 2 months. (I dumped him because he was too...emotional, but it made him selfish...like...he would say "Oh my god life sucks so badly I have nothing to live for" and it made me feel like sh!t because well...guess I wasn't worth living for?) And a mutual friend who liked me had sorta "claimed" me without my permission, told me he loved me and stuff...and I went with it because I was rebounding and needed the reassurance.

Anyways! I met my partner then, he was in love with another girl...who wouldn't be upfront about her feelings...she had a boyfriend but wasn't committed to him...but well its hard to explain! So...he was hurt by her, and unsure what to do. We met, both in semi-fragile states, he was realising that he had no future with this girl, and I was realising that I was on the rebound, and there was nothing with the other guy. We started talking, and bonded immediately. Eventually I cut my ties with the rebound guy, we're friends now and my fiancée confessed his love for me, something I had been thinking about for weeks.

Okay I have a point I promise! Fast forward about a month, we're newly in love and enjoying each other...but then tragedy strikes. He was applying for a job as an air controller, but he failed it at the last step because they decided he was too young for the position, (he was 23 then...they prefer people over 25) and he went into a fit of depression. I stood by him, trying to comfort him and reassure him...At this time, that girl called him because she and her boyfriend broke up. She begged him to run away with him =/. He was in turmoil over who to be with, but he thought I was oblivious. His best friend told me after I interrogated him on suspicion (he wasn't himself), because he hated to see me suffer.

So, I had two choices:

1. Leave him. Be heartbroken and unable to date for years, because that is when I realized he is the man I want to spend my life with.

OR

2. Wait and let him choose; maybe he'll choose me...and if not? Well I loved him enough to let him go.

Pretty bad odds, 1/3 I'd get heartbroken...but it worked out, he obviously chose me BECAUSE I stood by him and reassured him.

So, let her know you'll be there for her no matter what...and she'll get over it and love you more than ever once she realizes there is no other man than you for her.

Sorry for the long post!

EDIT: Btw, he never knew I knew about this until recently, when he was telling me about a girl who broke his heart a few years ago . Makes me so sad hearing about him being hurt! *feels nostalgic* Lol.

[Rail]

Well, Im going to give her time... I really don't want to loose her, so Ill give her all the time she needs. It is sort of hard to just say lets split up for awhile and think about it, partly because we are together constantly. Instead Im going to show her that I am a friend above all else. If she does happen to find her missing passion for me; I will be ecstatic... if she feels she just cannot have passion for me ever, I will respect that and let her go.

You never know what true love is until you've lost it anyway.

[fabian_haas]

Originally Posted by Demonic-Booze

btw what is bipolar? forgive my ignorance

it's like, one minute i'm EXTREMELY happy and bouncy and the next minute i'm suicidal. you just bounce back and forth from happy to sad for no reason.

[LoveGems]

Would she have gotten with you as a rebound.

I would have said to stay with her, comfort her and try and work through this, if the problem prevails then don't just drop her but just say you think she might need time, if she feels towards you then by you suddenly dumping her means the same thing will happen all over again.

[michelle2004]

NO ONE can ever promise they wont hurt someone that is a lie and anyone who has ever been hurt knows it all too well.... Say you will do your best to never hurt her on purpose.

[ukeka27]

if she is not ready to move on then there's really nothing you could do to help that. Move on.