'jap' of alien appearance

[voidid]

Hello

I am a 17-year old male of half-chinese heritage living in northern Europe. Though I am slightly excentric I find myself to be reasonably well spoken and confident in my behaviour.
I have never had a girlfriend despite of having attempted half-heartedly to get one. Of course, I shouldn't complain about that without having tried with more stamina. What bothers me, however, is that no girl has ever seemed to find me attractive. As an example, there are girls who giggle (intentionally, that is) to make themselves interesting to a male with whom they are speaking, for instance. It seems that almost anyone can get these girls to do that, but I have never had such a response.
I'm not universally unattractive, though. When meeting east-asian girls, it seems that i am considered more than averagely attractive in Asia, more than either chinese or western boys. The problem is (and I'm in no way proud of this) that I don't remember ever having met a chinese girl whom I would find attractive. Also, I intend to stay in the Europe and I wouldn't like being confined to choosing among the chinese girls who probably wouldn't find me desirable anyway, having grown used to seeing only caucasian and african men as attractive.
I am sorry if I seem to pitty myself in this post. I have to avoid it as I do i general. Any sort of response would be helpful: not only advice but also girls' opinions of the looks of asian men in general could be interesting. (as a statistacal resouce)


Also, I am of the opinion that the language used in fora should be clear and understandable.
soz if min ain't ul prfct but i hav tryd an i dun live in a englsh spkng ****ry

[sera300]

Two points;
1-Start looking for a woman who you do find attractive and give it full hearted attempt.

2-As a Caucasian woman I find Asian men attractive & have no issues dating them. Most important is a good personality & intelligence.

[curious_woman]

Originally Posted by sera300

Two points;
2-As a Caucasian woman I find Asian men attractive & have no issues dating them. Most important is a good personality & intelligence.

Oh yeah Asian men are sexy!
Seriously though, I believe looks are skin deep, a person can be gorgeous but arrogant and selfish, which is enough reason NOT to date them. You know what I mean, people say it all the time...I'm too tired to give a longer explanation lol.

Find a girl, work to let her know who you are INSIDE.

Btw I am white as well, and I think a man/woman (Yes I am bi) can be sexy regardless of race.

[Engage!]

Don't worry about your race, if that's an issue to you. Believe me when I say that there is somebody out there for everybody, no matter how different you are. You're only seventeen! My father was thirty before he ever dated. Besides, are you sure that you are around the people you would really want to date? Find someone who's your friend first, and once you get to know her, bring the friendship to a closer level.

As for the race issue, you will most likely end up finding someone racially similar to you. Usually, people gravitiate to those who are like them. For example, while I might find an Asian girl to be attractive, I am most strongly attracted to German-Russian girls because that's what I'm familiar with. It's also a cultural thing. I wouldn't get along nearly as well with an Irish girl because she wouldn't have the same background. Find someone whose traditions are alot like yours, and you will have a greater chance of success, and if you have a good friendship with that person the odds are in your favor for a good relationship. Also remember that "Opposites attract" is a myth.

[curious_woman]

Originally Posted by Engage!

As for the race issue, you will most likely end up finding someone racially similar to you. Usually, people gravitiate to those who are like them. For example, while I might find an Asian girl to be attractive, I am most strongly attracted to German-Russian girls because that's what I'm familiar with. It's also a cultural thing. I wouldn't get along nearly as well with an Irish girl because she wouldn't have the same background. Find someone whose traditions are alot like yours, and you will have a greater chance of success, and if you have a good friendship with that person the odds are in your favor for a good relationship. Also remember that "Opposites attract" is a myth.

I totally disagree.

My fiancée is 100% Portuguese, born bred and raised. His family is COMPLETELY Portugese, his last name is even the remnants of some Royal Family from when Portugal was a monarchy. Even though he is not religious himself, he grew up in a heavily catholic, heavily conservative home with very strong traditional gender roles. They are fairly traditionally Portuguese, and European.

My father was an American immigrant, from Germany. On my mother's side, its mostly Irish, with some Scottish and Bulgarian thrown in, we are probably 3rd or 4th generation Canadians. My mother is basically an ex-hippy so I was raised extremely liberal, taught that men and women should be equal, and to make my own choices about religion/sex/etc...but generally I guess you could say I'm a "normal" Canadian girl.

Those are vastly different cultures and backrounds; even our horoscope signs are opposites!

Despite all this, we have VERY similar personalities and general interests ie: music, art, literature, movies, travel destinations, family views, etc etc. All our mutual friends say we are the closest and most loving couple they have ever met. I am by no means go out and find someone totally opposite, I am simply stating it is not entirely myth .

[voidid]

thanks for your responses

Regarding cultural differences, one of my concerns is that I was brought up in northern Europe and thus I am more likely to understand and sympathize with european girls. Also, whenever I am with east-asian girls (not because of myself being 'chinese' but in other contexts), I find their looks to be very unappealing.
My concern is that the girls whom I find desirable find me uninteresting while I myself have no interest (for much more reasons than looks) in the girls who would find me appealing.
Although looks are skin-deep people seem to make their mind up prematurely because of them.
I do not look weird, by the way. These problems may largely be imaginary or attributed to me being 1-2 years younger than my competition.

[Brandye]

Where I live now, you would be the only Asian in the district - a large area. Both of my colleges in England and Germany were attended by large numbers of Asian students. Dating patterns crossed all imaginable lines and a more than a few marriages resulted. Regrettably, the African students and Middle Eastern students stayed greatly to themselves or, perhaps, were shunned by the Europeans. Maybe language, maybe culture, maybe racism.

Try, try and try. You will be successful although I find your own racism towards your own interesting. Amateur sociologist coming out.

[nottooblushing]

My sister attends a school in Texas with a very large asian population. I have never met any people as racially sensitive in my life. (Sensitive in that they notice it not that they are tolerant.) My sister was hanging out with a Korean guy, nothing happening just friends, and all the other Asian kids started giving him a hard time about her. Then I met 2 of her friends (guy and girl) who were best friends and obviously cared for each other and when I asked if there was anything there the girl says "oh no I'm Chinese and grew-up in the phillipeans (sp?) and he is Chinese and grew up in Korea, we don't have anything ion common." I have NO idea if this is normal, just talking about my experience.

[lov3less]

well, you grew up in Europe so yeah you're gonna get used to the looks around there. What do u find so unappealing about east asian girls? Is it the way they dress or do you mean physical looks?

people make up their minds because first impressions are usually based on looks so get to know the person first.