Short term relationship

[4love]

I met a young guy (26) whom I admired a lot, he is very intelligent and smart. I like guys with brain. He asked me out, I did not want to play hard to get, so I went out with him. He kissed me on the second date, that caught me by surprise but again I did not want to play hard to get. Immediately we become intimate and we had sex on the third date. This is completely new to me, I never had a short term relationship like this before and I've never went so fast with a guy before. I was totally captured by him, although I know that he was only looking for fun.

He was here only for one-month vacation, now he has left and I missed him so much. At the beginning, I was very naive to have thought about the possibility of remote relationship, mid-way, I knew that he was only looking for short term fun, still I could not reject him. I enjoyed his company and having sex with him. Question: was I stupid or what? What do people think when they deliberately look for short term sex?

What should I do if there's another guy come to me with the idea of short term sex/relationship?

[sera300]

Did you have fun? If your answer is yes, then you did nothing wrong. He told you upfront and was honest and you did the same. You have happy memories so be it.

What do you do if put in the same situation? Whatever you feel like. If you are up for it great. If you want a long term relationship, then it's probably not what you are looking for.

You did nothing wrong.

[littlechicky]

I'll second Sera's post. You only live once, and if you enjoyed it and it's worth remembering, it's a good thing. No use in analyzing your choices in the past.

[4love]

Thanks for reply. He did not really tell me up front that he was only looking for fun, it was after we got intimate that he told me he liked me, and that I was "fun to play with".

Yes, I did have fun and I enjoyed it very much. The trouble is, I missed him a lot before and after he's gone. Guess I am not the "just for fun" material, so next time, I should not give hope to possible short term relationship that would turn into long term?

And, it is normal to have fun short term instead of playing hard-to-get in order to earn respect from a guy?

[Brandye]

My fiance and I got to it the second day we knew one another. We were different nationalities and met in a third country. The relationship really grew and we were planning marriage when he died.

Hard to get? I took one look at him and wrote my first Canadian prescription for the pill - for me. Respect? We were professional colleagues working in remote areas together for nearly two years. Doing medicine with no running water. Learned a lot about one another.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Playing "hard to get" to earn a guy's respect?!?!? WOW you have some odd ideas in your head like using sex as a reward for good behavior on his part or hadn't you realised that is really what "playing hard to get" is? You enjoyed him while he was available - that's fine. Yes you're going to miss him but even if you hadn't enjoyed sex with him that would still be the case. There is nothing to regret here. There is also nothing inherently wrong with short term relationships. Some short term relationships may even become long term relationships. Have several; have lots - just enjoy each and every one to the fullest.

[crazygirl69]

I agree with everyone else...you enjoyed yourself. You experienced something that you've never done before and also learned that that type of relationship is not for you. Nothing wrong with it and also nothing wrong with trying something new. Personally, that's exactly why I'm still on this site. To learn something new. I will say this tho, I had a "friend w/benefits" type of relationship before and honestly, it was the BEST relationship I ever had!! LOL Well ok...so I have a couple of them now too...but so what? I'm having fun myself, I'm being careful and no one is getting hurt. The key is mutual understanding at the begining. Unfortunately 4love, you didn't have that but you do have those fun memories forever.

[4love]

Thanks a bunch! You have solved my querries -- now I know I should stay with this site. You guys & gals have great insights in relationship and all. Thank you again for the very direct and clear answers. Appreciated!