I'm 20 and im useless, inexperienced and have no confidence. What can i do?

[Slayerreborn]

A prank by my housemate to embarass me. Sorry to all involved.

[nottooblushing]

You will get nowhere until you learn to like yourself. Therapy may be in order. But you can not communicate "You should like me" to women until you have communicated "I Like Me" to yourself. Put the search for a relationship with someone else on the back burner until you have made a possitive relationship with yourself.

[Slayerreborn]

I'm actually seeing a counsellor and getting a bit better at liking myself than i was previously, Its just quite difficult to like yourself when no-one has really ever taken notice or said that a part of me is nice or something.

[sera300]

Switch from a counselor and see a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. Discuss some medications to treat your depression as well. Your self-esteem issues are not caused by others just as liking some one did not cause your depression. It begins with correction of the underlying problem which lies within you. You need to correct the depressive episodes to begin getting at the real issue.

Searching for self-worth from a relationship will inevitably lead to disaster.

[Westles]

Instead of being in your room all the time, venture out and mix with groups of people, when your freinds go to bars join them, just because your there doesnt mean you have to find girls. Being about around other people will bring you more confidence.

Like NTB said, you need to adore yourself before you can think about finding a woman, imagine if you did find someone and you kept putitng yourself down, you would be finished in a flash pal.

Dress well, interact and make an effort to join your friends.

[Brandye]

All good advice. There must be some extra-curricular clubs at school the are "girl rich." Join some. My brother joined a Celtic dance group at University that was about ten to one, women to men. He was exhausted and not by the dancing.

Then read the recent post around entitled 37 year old virgin or something similar.

Mostly follow the advice given about liking yourself and rethink the handle you have chosen. Sounds too much like recent Stateside events.

To put Sera's advice into a UK context, see if the counselor or your GP will refer you to a psychiatric consultant.

[khatzeen]

You sound a lot like me. Let me guess, you introverted but very intelligent. Time is the best cure. Once you start working in your career field, you will build confidence. You will start to feel better about yourself. Women can smell confidence and will be more inclined to date you.

[cyclefreak]

Its a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe that you are useless, then you behave in ways that reinforce that feeling, and it can just become a vicious cycle.

You have to learn to value yourself, and develop a sense of confidence. Everybody has positive attributes, you just need to engage in activities which allow you to discover your own abilities. Maybe get out more and join in more social activities.

[Printer2]

as always, www.doubleyourdating.com

[xgx]

I was in a similar situation, I only had my first kiss at the age of 19. Age isn't really anything, most girls will look at it as a plus that you're not one of those guys who's been with loads of girls. Don't feel pressured by what is 'average', that's what I did. Try to make friends at your university, and then meet new people and hopefully things will eventually fall into place. And like everybody has said, if you think you're crap you're going to feel like crap.