"I want to go slow .... I like you too much"

[JenninTampa]

I have been seeing Chris for almost a month. We speak on the phone at least once a day, see each other about 2x a week, and go out at least one night on the weekend. By all indications, verbal and nonverbal, it appears he and and I moving towards a relationship.

The problem is physical .... we've french kissed about four times. Last night, he went a step further fondling my breast. I wanted to go further but he stopped it by saying "I want to go slow ... I like you too much." Should I be concerned by this comment?

A previous boyfriend also made a similar comment. The other guy, Ron, and I were making out (about 2 weeks together), I wanted to keep going but he stopped it by saying "I don't want to like you for the wrong reasons." Ron and I eventually dated long term ... had sexual relations regularly for about six months ... then he stopped having sex with me unless he could enter from behind ... after 18 months together, I gained about 15 pounds - he made up some lie and eventually dumped me.

Am I being paranoid - should I be concerned Chris is not physically attracted to me? We're both in our late 20s. I have had sex on the 2nd date previously and it has worked out. Chris says he's attracted to me but Ron did also and I now know he dumped me because I got fat. Are there other guys out there who have made similar type comments to girls during that stage of courting?

[sera300]

Perhaps he does not want to feel he is using you or to make you feel that he is using you? Or maybe in the past he felt he rushed into a sexual relationship and did not get to know the person for who they were inside? That's my best thought on this.

[Quint Notwen]

Originally Posted by JenninTampa

I have been seeing Chris for almost a month. We speak on the phone at least once a day, see each other about 2x a week, and go out at least one night on the weekend. By all indications, verbal and nonverbal, it appears he and and I moving towards a relationship.

The problem is physical .... we've french kissed about four times. Last night, he went a step further fondling my breast. I wanted to go further but he stopped it by saying "I want to go slow ... I like you too much." Should I be concerned by this comment?

A previous boyfriend also made a similar comment. The other guy, Ron, and I were making out (about 2 weeks together), I wanted to keep going but he stopped it by saying "I don't want to like you for the wrong reasons." Ron and I eventually dated long term ... had sexual relations regularly for about six months ... then he stopped having sex with me unless he could enter from behind ... after 18 months together, I gained about 15 pounds - he made up some lie and eventually dumped me.

Am I being paranoid - should I be concerned Chris is not physically attracted to me? We're both in our late 20s. I have had sex on the 2nd date previously and it has worked out. Chris says he's attracted to me but Ron did also and I now know he dumped me because I got fat. Are there other guys out there who have made similar type comments to girls during that stage of courting?

I don't know him. But for me, this is the issue. I like a woman, love her (as best I can) and then she wants to go forward and I can't, don't want to. It makes things difficult, I question my motivations for how I act (ie am I doing this romantic thing because I love her or is it just another step towards getting in her pants?).

It's these kind of thoughts that ruin my desire for sex because I hate the manipulative feelings that bubble up and I hate the guilt and the whole retinue of oggling and fawning. In the end I just want to keep loving that person because I love that person, not because of any collection of carnal urges that drive me to making empty actions to get in her pants.

[NizeGie]

It's a standard maneuver from the female playbook.

Why he's using it, I don't know, but give him credit for trainability.

[demonbuttercup]

Originally Posted by NizeGie

It's a standard maneuver from the female playbook.

Why he's using it, I don't know, but give him credit for trainability.

LOL
oh no! they are evolving! and Jen is the man in this scenario

[Ephemera]

Sounds like he's probably trying to be that "dream-guy" from the movie who the girls praise for being so nice and sensitive. Hm. Maybe you should just jump him and have your way with him?

[tikteka57]

demon your evil!! and yes we are evolving to understand the female mind
mew hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (evil laugh)

[EvilEvilKitten]

Sweety, drop him. This "go slow because..." means he's not full-grown yet and has issues accepting/involving sex. Who needs that!?! Throw him back and go find yourself a man who regards his, and your, sexuality as a joyous gift.

[Trying2BeAGooDBoyFriend]

Wow... there is no need for gentlemen nowadays... i guess two weeks is TOO long to wait for someone to sleep with you, even for women. Every one to his or her own, but damn, what happened to the love...?

[EvilEvilKitten]

One can fall in love between sheets as easily as elsewhere - and have more fun doing so. What's YOUR problem?