GF has really low self esteem

[Zlive]

My girlfriend of over 8 months has really low self esteem, she thinks she’s fat and huge but the fact is that she is really quite skinny, and her opinion doesn't change regardless of what I tell her

She's 5'8 or 5'9, which is fairly tall for a girl. Her problem is that she expects to weight the same or wear the same size as someone who is like 5'0 (which some of her friends are). The fact is that she looks skinny and her size is perfect for being 5'8 or 5'9 but for some reason she thinks she’s huge.

She doesn't like to eat in front of me or other people because she doesn't want people to think "oh my god, she should really stop eating, look how fat she is".

She constantly thinks people are constantly judging her and thinking she is fat. Any sort of joke she takes it to the extreme. Ex: Her friend jokes "I don't want to see your ass!" and she takes it as its because she’s huge and its disgusting.

She is very negative towards herself and needs constant reassuring from me, which is becoming very stressful as I’ve started to avoid conversations with her on my spare time because I’ve been very stressed myself with other things going on in my life and I just really need time to unwind.

This has even affected our sex life as one particular time when I couldn’t get “into the mood” because of outside factors in my life. She took it very personally that she doesn’t turn me on anymore, even though I’ve told her otherwise.

From that event it has gotten somewhat worst, example:

We were having sex (recently started), something awkward happened and I lost my erection. I sort of go into a panic mode where if I don’t regain my erection I know she’ll take it the wrong way. I never did regain my erection because I was panicking and she started bawling because she thought she was a huge turn off.

So now I start to worry every time we get intimate as I keep thinking, “If I lose my erection for some reason she’s going to freak”, which has made our sexual activities harder.

She also doesn’t believe me that I think it’s okay she masturbates and that it would turn me on if I watched her, and she also refuses to believe that I enjoy performing oral sex on her.

She also attacks me in various ways:

Last Wednesday I went to an award show for my university, she couldn’t come. She told me that she had this gut feeling that I was going to cheat on her. She sends me a link yesterday about 5 ways you could be unintentionally cheating. She keeps telling me that she’s afraid that I’m going to find someone better.

She likes to twist my words around so that it hurts her or she will take things the worst possible way, and I always have to explain myself and reassure her

Just today she asked me if I ever think of a future between them. I said I can’t picture us not together but I don’t like to think into the future. She took it very offensively and said that she gets excited at the thought of having kids and us being old.

Sorry for the long rant but I really enjoy being with her but it’s also extremely stressful at the same time.

Thoughts?

[sera300]

There is nothing you can really do, she has major insecurity issues which require a counselor/therapist. Her insecurity is doing the one thing she did not want; it's pushing you away. It only will get worse until she gets some help with her self-image issue and trust issues.

Encourage her to go...

[HardNgood]

She needs PROFESSIONAL help and it that does NOT mean you! Perhaps she should go get counselling and then you can date her, but only after that, because you are in for an emotional roller coaster ride and who the hell has time or energy for all that baggage.

[kpodo]

stress is a killer on the penis. she needs to get help fast and you need to support her