Girlfriend problem... please help

[cnf325]

Alright my girlfriend and i have been going out for a year and a month. We're both 17. I love her and she loves me a lot. We love to fool around... when there's time, ya know i do her, she does me (foreplay). (We already had sex.. ONCE but doesnt want to do that for a while for some reason.. but that's another problem and question for another day). My problem is that lately it seems like she doesnt want to do STUFF anymore. And im confused, like am i becoming boring to her or is she becoming boring to me? When we talk we dont really have much to talk about... i guess its cuz we barely see each other outside of school, even though i try to see her as much as i can. I just wanna know... What can i do to turn her on again??? and like, get her horny again... cuz before, almost all the time when we were by ourselves, when she saw me we couldnt keep ourselves off each other. I try to touch her now but she just tells me to stop. I know she WANTS to but somethings wrong. I try talking to her but she says nothings wrong. Its messed up now. Please help!
Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated.

[sera300]

Sounds as if the "newness" of the relationship has worn off. What can you do? Show her you care about her not that you just want to get her horny all the time. Maybe that's what's lacking in the relationship; a connection beyond just sex.

[cnf325]

Originally Posted by sera300

Sounds as if the "newness" of the relationship has worn off. What can you do? Show her you care about her not that you just want to get her horny all the time. Maybe that's what's lacking in the relationship; a connection beyond just sex.

Dang you might be right about the "newness". I never really thought about that till now lol one year is a while.
But what you said...i know all that but shes always telling me over the phone that she wants to really bad but then doesnt want to when we get the chance. Its weird. Do you think shes paranoid or something?...
But ok... ill try to talk to her about something other then sex but what should i say?? Like, whats a way i can just talk to her to get her mind, and my mind, off sex??

[sera300]

Talk to her about her day, friends, etc. Do small things to show her you care about her (non-sexual). Write her notes, flowers, etc. When relationships hit that "one year" mark many stop and wonder "Is this what I really want?" Sometimes we become habits to the other person and stay in the relationship too long b/c it's easier.

No guarantees, only she can really answer you!

[cnf325]

Originally Posted by sera300

Talk to her about her day, friends, etc. Do small things to show her you care about her (non-sexual). Write her notes, flowers, etc. When relationships hit that "one year" mark many stop and wonder "Is this what I really want?" Sometimes we become habits to the other person and stay in the relationship too long b/c it's easier.

No guarantees, only she can really answer you!

Ok so you're saying i should do or buy her small things. But what if she doesnt like it or them? We always write notes with nothing to say, its about being bored and not doing anything... She doesnt like flowers (for some reason ) BUT the thing is... I REALLY DO wanna be with her and i know she wants the same? Thing is... What if sex or sexual things is what we need?? Do you think we can connect more like that? How do i know??
(First, we both took each others virginities away. And, our first time wasnt really that "fun" and didnt even last that long at all, and i think shes scared or something that it might not go well again. I think she thinks it will ALWAYS go bad which ive told her over and over that the first couple of times are always hard and maybe painful, but gets better. She says she knows but i dont think she believes it so i want her to trust me... to show her how good it can be, how much she'll like it, and to show how much i love her. How do i do or show that to her??)
I think it might be that, or trusting me in all that stuff... i dont know (???)

[sera300]

Sounds as if the relationship has died off, sorry to tell you that. I think you need to talk to her, you are concerning yourself about sex in the relationship but it does not sound like she is there, at least not in actions. Maybe she just thinks you just want sex?

Yes, the first few times are not the greatest sexually (in general) and with lots of practice it gets better.

I mean give her little gifts here and there, give her a card, etc. Take her to the movies, go out on dates, do you do this stuff? Do things together, go hiking, so you have an experience to talk about.

[HardNgood]

My gosh you guys are only 17, you got lots of time and a lot more partners to be with, live life

[mishsa]

ok firstly, everyone is telling you how its warn off. thats silly, dont just jump to that conclusion.
get her flowers once in a while, they are inexpensive and mean alot to a girl. ask her if she wants a massage, that gets someone in the mood.
just pamper her.

but most important, tell her how much she means to you and how much you love her. then tell her that its important to communicate and make her see that this is more than just sex.

[EvilEvilKitten]

She needs to talk. The next time she says nothing's wrong, ask her "then why do I feel that you're not with me any longer"? Do not let her "cop-out" or get away with "I dunno" or similar non-answers. Time for you to stand up for yourself a bit.